I have been discovering something over the past few days. Not necessarily something new, but more like finding a way to describe an emotion and state of living that I have been experiencing for a long, long time.
Most of you know me pretty well. So think about all the different things I have been involved with and interested in over my life. Diverse, isn't it? I mean, soccer, music, church/Bible studies, medieval stuff, computers, video games, writing...etc etc. My interests really seem to stretch across the board. I mean, if I was in one of those sterotypical high school shows, who would I be? The jock? The nerd? The average joe? The rock-and-roller? The school president? I don't know about you, but I can see a little of myself in all those.
Now, not that it is a inherently bad thing to have a diverse resume, but I am realizing the bit of social conflict it has caused (and still is causing) in my life. I don't know where I fit it! I know that sounds childish and middle-school-like....but to just be honest, that is how I feel sometimes. I feel like I can fit into every social group around (which is why I never have been too conscientious of social ladders), yet I never feel like I fully belong to any one of them.
So what do I do with that? All I know, is that it sometimes causes brief periods of thought where I am wondering if I have any real friends. Now don't jump all over me....I know I do have friends all over the place....I know...but emotions often act independently of the much more rational intellect and I forget. But really, sometimes I do just feel...well, alone. It is so rare that I find someone who I can just completely connect with...and even if I do, for some reason the relationship doesn't really go any farther than 'casual friend'. I am not positively sure if it is completely my fault or not...I just want depth, you know. Just like Sanctus Real's song I'm Not Alright, I want to be able to feel completely comfortable sharing with others my thoughts/feelings. But I don't know if it is my lack of social skills that prevents that, or other people's uncertainty with me...maybe both.
So I've taken this whole problem up as a challenge. Where do I belong? Well, I'm not expecting a complete answer any time soon...that is a question that can take a lifelong to answer. But I think there are very basic, not-as-philisophically deep ways in which I can answer some of it. For example, I am a member of the body of Christ...there's a start, Sure it's a basic start that leads to more questions--but at least it is a start. But yeah, I really think this is the next big way God wants to grow me. I just have of late felt this misplacement in the world that has left me feeling very alone...but I think this is just another step to maturity that needs to happen.
Even though I do now recognize the issue, I still am effected by it...so keep me in your prayers. I believe there is a way to fix this--at least as much as possible on this earth. I expect that the Day trumpets sound and I see my creator in the air, I shall experience all the fullness that the universe can offer. Until then, I shall learn to be "content in every situation" and "joyful in all circumstances."
Think about this quote by C.S. Lewis below. Normal human desires have ways to be satisfied, correct? Hunger, by food; Thirst, by water; Weariness, by rest; Sexuality, by sex; etc. etc. etc. So what about that emptiness that people still feel after being given all the riches of the world...what of that?
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world.
--C.S. Lewis
Seems rather logical :)
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
I Return
Just got back to Biola about an hour and a half ago. Ahh....so nice to be back---in some ways, as we pulled up to the dorm, it felt like I had never been gone...weird.
Anyhow, my ambitions are high and I'm ready to take on the world. Already I have taken up an article for The Chimes which will be due on Tuesday--crazy fast, I know...but I wanted to start off fast so I can set a pattern of productivity--sounds corny, yeah, but hey.
I got about 6 things written down on a sticky pad that I have to get done in the next few days, so there's not too much time to just settle down. I know it sounds like I'm going crazy, but don't worry, I know myself and what I have to do in order to keep myself going and productive. I'm very conscientious of my limits, my ability, and the necessity to keep balanced and take a break.
Though the future unclear, I'm here
...sure there's fear.
But nerves bridled and object clear
God will strengthen His child
And keep my name filed
I'm going for it guys....root for me.
Anyhow, my ambitions are high and I'm ready to take on the world. Already I have taken up an article for The Chimes which will be due on Tuesday--crazy fast, I know...but I wanted to start off fast so I can set a pattern of productivity--sounds corny, yeah, but hey.
I got about 6 things written down on a sticky pad that I have to get done in the next few days, so there's not too much time to just settle down. I know it sounds like I'm going crazy, but don't worry, I know myself and what I have to do in order to keep myself going and productive. I'm very conscientious of my limits, my ability, and the necessity to keep balanced and take a break.
Though the future unclear, I'm here
...sure there's fear.
But nerves bridled and object clear
God will strengthen His child
And keep my name filed
I'm going for it guys....root for me.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Oh Gosh....
I've come to an unfortunate reality this past week---my four years at Biola are anything but secure. There just has been some financial confusion between my dad and I--really the whole family--and so now I just find myself in a hard place. I can't justify taking out as much money as I did this year for next year's schooling...it would put me at over $30,000 in debt--only 1 in 10 students come out with that much debt when they graduate.
I am also just discovering the reality that my parents can only offer very limited help...they have their own financial crisis on hand.
I plan on doing all that I can do to make next year happen. I plan on having a job during the semester, and then working my butt off when summer comes along. I also have been applying for a lot of scholarships. It's just crazy, though, if my financial package is the same as this year's, $12,000 is going to have to come from somewhere.
I suppose if next year doesn't work out I could move back home and attend Corban....I figure since I'd be living with my parents Corban's financial aid package would nearly if not totally cover my expenses (living on campus is like 7,000/yr, plus their tuition is about 3,000 cheaper)
It's just hard to think of the possibility of all my dreams coming apart....I mean, I expected to make something of myself, not move back home and work some crap job so I can pay off loans that don't mean much to me anyore....
I just have to take it a step at a time...I know. I know that God will work it out if He desires it. I just have to focus on working hard this next semester, and then figure out the rest.
Please pray for me...that I could keep persevering in spite of the trials.
I am also just discovering the reality that my parents can only offer very limited help...they have their own financial crisis on hand.
I plan on doing all that I can do to make next year happen. I plan on having a job during the semester, and then working my butt off when summer comes along. I also have been applying for a lot of scholarships. It's just crazy, though, if my financial package is the same as this year's, $12,000 is going to have to come from somewhere.
I suppose if next year doesn't work out I could move back home and attend Corban....I figure since I'd be living with my parents Corban's financial aid package would nearly if not totally cover my expenses (living on campus is like 7,000/yr, plus their tuition is about 3,000 cheaper)
It's just hard to think of the possibility of all my dreams coming apart....I mean, I expected to make something of myself, not move back home and work some crap job so I can pay off loans that don't mean much to me anyore....
I just have to take it a step at a time...I know. I know that God will work it out if He desires it. I just have to focus on working hard this next semester, and then figure out the rest.
Please pray for me...that I could keep persevering in spite of the trials.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Thinking
I know a lot of you guys got all freaked out about my last post....but seriously, people, relax. I'm not depressed or anything; just going through a pretty traumatic time in my life.
I've just been thinking a lot about goals that I need to make. Thinking a lot about the reality I now face in life. I may have not realized all that going to college in SoCal would mean for my life, but I am now beginning to discover much of it. It means that I am probably going to have to start settling down a bit. College is a time when you transition to independence, and I just feel like I am behind where I should be. I'm not going to be able to get any kind of solid job if I am continually moving back and forth between two states. It's hard to think about, but I may have to start looking for ways to settle down a bit in California. This probably will mean coming back home a good deal less...but, you know, I got to do it.
I just find myself wanting to 'be there', if you know what I mean. I want to prove to myself that I can survive on my own; you know, pay my own bills, have an apartment. I know most of you are probably laughing because you've been doing this for years and years and it is not a big deal for you....you probably want me just to enjoy where I am at. But just try to remember back to when you were my age and the world looked ripe in front of you...how you wanted to just break free and prove that you could live in this world just like everyone else. That is what I am feeling. I've never have been thoroughly independent, and so I am kind of nervous about how I'll get along...but I want to get there because I know if every other person has done it, so can I...I want to prove that to myself.
Unfortunately, I just am not in the position to 'be there' yet. Being a full time student doesn't allow for any kind of full-time, sufficiently providing job. So I have to wait...in anticpation. Praying to God that I'll make it out okay and this whole college thing will prove to be a good investment.
This next semester will be pivotal for me, I think. Looking at my schedule this next semester I think that I have a much better chance at getting an on-campus job....I have to. I have to in order to make myself feel a little bit more secure....and of course to get a bit of money. I'm planning on getting an internship at a newspaper this summer, hopefully paid. But that's something else I need to do in order to ensure myself that I am progressing...so I don't know where I'll be this summer...I'll be looking around Biola, San Diego, and in Oregon.
I'm just a bit anxious....probably a little too much. Just pray that I can find peace in everything. And that I'd continue to have the motivation that'll keep me going.
I've just been thinking a lot about goals that I need to make. Thinking a lot about the reality I now face in life. I may have not realized all that going to college in SoCal would mean for my life, but I am now beginning to discover much of it. It means that I am probably going to have to start settling down a bit. College is a time when you transition to independence, and I just feel like I am behind where I should be. I'm not going to be able to get any kind of solid job if I am continually moving back and forth between two states. It's hard to think about, but I may have to start looking for ways to settle down a bit in California. This probably will mean coming back home a good deal less...but, you know, I got to do it.
I just find myself wanting to 'be there', if you know what I mean. I want to prove to myself that I can survive on my own; you know, pay my own bills, have an apartment. I know most of you are probably laughing because you've been doing this for years and years and it is not a big deal for you....you probably want me just to enjoy where I am at. But just try to remember back to when you were my age and the world looked ripe in front of you...how you wanted to just break free and prove that you could live in this world just like everyone else. That is what I am feeling. I've never have been thoroughly independent, and so I am kind of nervous about how I'll get along...but I want to get there because I know if every other person has done it, so can I...I want to prove that to myself.
Unfortunately, I just am not in the position to 'be there' yet. Being a full time student doesn't allow for any kind of full-time, sufficiently providing job. So I have to wait...in anticpation. Praying to God that I'll make it out okay and this whole college thing will prove to be a good investment.
This next semester will be pivotal for me, I think. Looking at my schedule this next semester I think that I have a much better chance at getting an on-campus job....I have to. I have to in order to make myself feel a little bit more secure....and of course to get a bit of money. I'm planning on getting an internship at a newspaper this summer, hopefully paid. But that's something else I need to do in order to ensure myself that I am progressing...so I don't know where I'll be this summer...I'll be looking around Biola, San Diego, and in Oregon.
I'm just a bit anxious....probably a little too much. Just pray that I can find peace in everything. And that I'd continue to have the motivation that'll keep me going.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Just Eatin' Up Time
What a long Christmas. Christmas Eve with the Farr's, Christmas morning with my immediatel family, Christmas night with the Willhite's, and then today with the Wheeler's....exhausting.
The Wheeler's are at my house right now...about ready to leave actually. We played like 4 rounds of this DVD game called SceneIt. Well, they played it....I didn't do much; I'm just really worn our I guess.
As much as it has been relaxing hanging out at home, I need to find stuff to do. I'm looking into getting some reffing work at the indoor soccer. Not only because I need money, but because I just need to find something to do, haha.
I find my thoughts returning to Biola a lot. I love my family, yes. I really enjoy spending time with them. It's just that I have a life down in Los Angeles now....new people....my age, heh...opportunities in all sorts of forms....I don't know, I just miss it.
For some reason when I am home with my family I feel less motivated...less driven to do things. When I'm by myself--like I was for 4 months down at Biola--I really feel driven and motivated to do things. I think this is pretty easy to explain: when I have parental units over me and no obligation housing and food it is easy to get lazy....I just feel like it's about time I start really taking care of myself--I hate feeling so incapacitated.
What I really need now is a job...heh. I'm going to try a lot harder this semester to get a job...not going to be as picky either. It's about time I start earning some income. I think next year I'll be able to get a job as an editor at The Chimes, but for next semester I just need to work on getting some nice on-campus job to get a bit of cash.
I also have to start looking for internships this semester. I want to be set up with something before I hit next summer. I'm going to look at internships in both Oregon and California....I'll just see where God takes me.
That's all for tonight folks,
The Wheeler's are at my house right now...about ready to leave actually. We played like 4 rounds of this DVD game called SceneIt. Well, they played it....I didn't do much; I'm just really worn our I guess.
As much as it has been relaxing hanging out at home, I need to find stuff to do. I'm looking into getting some reffing work at the indoor soccer. Not only because I need money, but because I just need to find something to do, haha.
I find my thoughts returning to Biola a lot. I love my family, yes. I really enjoy spending time with them. It's just that I have a life down in Los Angeles now....new people....my age, heh...opportunities in all sorts of forms....I don't know, I just miss it.
For some reason when I am home with my family I feel less motivated...less driven to do things. When I'm by myself--like I was for 4 months down at Biola--I really feel driven and motivated to do things. I think this is pretty easy to explain: when I have parental units over me and no obligation housing and food it is easy to get lazy....I just feel like it's about time I start really taking care of myself--I hate feeling so incapacitated.
What I really need now is a job...heh. I'm going to try a lot harder this semester to get a job...not going to be as picky either. It's about time I start earning some income. I think next year I'll be able to get a job as an editor at The Chimes, but for next semester I just need to work on getting some nice on-campus job to get a bit of cash.
I also have to start looking for internships this semester. I want to be set up with something before I hit next summer. I'm going to look at internships in both Oregon and California....I'll just see where God takes me.
That's all for tonight folks,
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Just shootin' them down
That's right...two down, two to go. Finals I mean. I took math yesterday and Anthropology today. The Anth didn't feel as good as I'd of hoped, but I'm not too worried; I have a pretty solid A in that class. The math one was about normal I guess...whether I get an A or a B in that class is resting on the result of that test, so it's pretty important.
So tomorrow I got my journalism final bright and early in the morning at 7:30. The next day is my art final which I am not worried about at all. I have like a 95 in that class and the tests aren't that hard.
In case anyone hasn't seen this yet, here's a link to a funny little thing I made in celebration of Christmas and me coming home:
http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=033ce7b679a3ff99d351573G20061209
Toodles!
So tomorrow I got my journalism final bright and early in the morning at 7:30. The next day is my art final which I am not worried about at all. I have like a 95 in that class and the tests aren't that hard.
In case anyone hasn't seen this yet, here's a link to a funny little thing I made in celebration of Christmas and me coming home:
http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=033ce7b679a3ff99d351573G20061209
Toodles!
Friday, December 08, 2006
Finals Stretch
So here we are folks. Just finished up the last class of the semester. Currently am enjoying the last weekend of my first semester at Biola. One last thing to do....finals!
I'm not too worried about any particular final right now. I think I pretty much know what my grades are going to be. I'll likely get 4 or 5 As, and 1 or 2 Bs. Probably the most important finals are in my Convergent Journalism and Math classes...I have a low A in Convergence and a high B in math....so the result of the final will be pretty important.
Nevertheless, I'm not stressed right now. As long as I get some good studying this weekend and next week I should be good. I'll probably have to study the most in my Anthropology class, just because there's always a lot of information to know.
So anyways, I'm excited to come home. Can't wait to get all wet and soggy again in the rain.......cuz.., you know, this 80 degree weather in the middle of December is just...just...so horrible...*snicker*
Well, talk to you all later.
I'm not too worried about any particular final right now. I think I pretty much know what my grades are going to be. I'll likely get 4 or 5 As, and 1 or 2 Bs. Probably the most important finals are in my Convergent Journalism and Math classes...I have a low A in Convergence and a high B in math....so the result of the final will be pretty important.
Nevertheless, I'm not stressed right now. As long as I get some good studying this weekend and next week I should be good. I'll probably have to study the most in my Anthropology class, just because there's always a lot of information to know.
So anyways, I'm excited to come home. Can't wait to get all wet and soggy again in the rain.......cuz.., you know, this 80 degree weather in the middle of December is just...just...so horrible...*snicker*
Well, talk to you all later.
Monday, December 04, 2006
I Finally Did It
That's right, I know what you're thinking..."Michael, you're crazy...." But hey, you know, it had to happen sometime.
Yep, finally went to the library and pulled a college cram session. 4 hours baby! 4 hours! Just sitting there, listening to music, occasionally chatting to a few friends next to me. Finished 2 essays and a Chimes article! Wow! You know what that means? That means I have no more assignments left this semester! That's right! Bring it on finals, I'm ready for ya!
Lol, I have know idea what you guys were thinking when you began this article...I just wanted to get reactions. Really I'm just in a good mood. There is nothing left for me to do other than study for tests. Such a relief.
And the funny thing is, I can totally see God in all this. Last night I prayed that He'd give me the motivation to get the rest of my work done. In God-like fashion, He made it so: My computer turned out to not be working today, so couldn't sit in my room and play computer games like I usually do when avoiding work. Furthermore, my interview for the article went so well that I just felt inspired to get that thing written.
All that led up to me doing what I bragged about not doing before: heading to the library to work. While I was there, friends showed up (including a pretty nice girl :) ), and as it turns out, having company around you really motivates you. No wonder people have study parties! It really works!
So yeah, totally worked out today in the most coincidental-it-must-be-God kind of ways. Excellent!
Almost home ya'll , almost home!
Yep, finally went to the library and pulled a college cram session. 4 hours baby! 4 hours! Just sitting there, listening to music, occasionally chatting to a few friends next to me. Finished 2 essays and a Chimes article! Wow! You know what that means? That means I have no more assignments left this semester! That's right! Bring it on finals, I'm ready for ya!
Lol, I have know idea what you guys were thinking when you began this article...I just wanted to get reactions. Really I'm just in a good mood. There is nothing left for me to do other than study for tests. Such a relief.
And the funny thing is, I can totally see God in all this. Last night I prayed that He'd give me the motivation to get the rest of my work done. In God-like fashion, He made it so: My computer turned out to not be working today, so couldn't sit in my room and play computer games like I usually do when avoiding work. Furthermore, my interview for the article went so well that I just felt inspired to get that thing written.
All that led up to me doing what I bragged about not doing before: heading to the library to work. While I was there, friends showed up (including a pretty nice girl :) ), and as it turns out, having company around you really motivates you. No wonder people have study parties! It really works!
So yeah, totally worked out today in the most coincidental-it-must-be-God kind of ways. Excellent!
Almost home ya'll , almost home!
Christmas Party
Had a lot of fun at my Church's college group Christmas party. We had food, a white elephant gift exchange and we watched Charlie Brown's Christmas. I brought my friend Mike along too...he seemed to have a good time. Anyhow, here are some pictures of the event.
Mike and I in front of the "fire" .Mike and I, as well as some girls from the
college group that happen to live in our dorm
building. Plastic tree...
Mike and I in front of the "fire" .Mike and I, as well as some girls from the
college group that happen to live in our dorm
building. Plastic tree...
Oh yeah, Charlie Brown's Christmas and people hanging out
Friday, December 01, 2006
December 1st
Wow, just winding down here. I have a few more short papers, and then finals. Then that is it. That's it...I will have finished my first semester in college! That is two weeks folks, from this day.
Today a pretty nice day. 75 degrees, clear skies...no wonder I forgot it was the first day of December today.
I got all my classes scheduled for next semester yesterday. I'll be taking 17 credits, which is one more than I took this year. 4 of the classes are Mass Communication ones (for my major), 1 is Spanish, taking a PE class (soccer of course, heh), and the other one is a general ed Communication class.
The Christmas tree lighting at Biola is tonight. Our biggest Christmas tree-like tree in front of the music hall is all decorated. Should be a good hot chocolate sipping event.
So yeah, a lot of random thoughts there. But yeah, hope you're all doing fine. Going to be great to come back home.
Today a pretty nice day. 75 degrees, clear skies...no wonder I forgot it was the first day of December today.
I got all my classes scheduled for next semester yesterday. I'll be taking 17 credits, which is one more than I took this year. 4 of the classes are Mass Communication ones (for my major), 1 is Spanish, taking a PE class (soccer of course, heh), and the other one is a general ed Communication class.
The Christmas tree lighting at Biola is tonight. Our biggest Christmas tree-like tree in front of the music hall is all decorated. Should be a good hot chocolate sipping event.
So yeah, a lot of random thoughts there. But yeah, hope you're all doing fine. Going to be great to come back home.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Family
So, just back from my little journey to San Diego and back. I had a really good, relaxing time with the family down there. Was especially good to just be back in a house instead of a dorm. What I really appreciated was being able to go to sleep in absolute silence--no people playing guitar outside my door, no yelling from people playing Halo, and no roommate bursting through our very squeaky door at obscene hours of the night....just silence.
Judy and Gary took real good care of me while I was there. We ate at Kono's twice (yum yum), went to see the latest James Bond movie (awesome), and they always offered their hospitality. Was really good to see so many people that I haven't seen in such a long time (e.g. Heather and Bree). It's kind of funny how different the family is down here compared to up in Oregon. I'm used to always having a disproportionate amount of children running around, but down here the family is all grown up (besides Nicole and Jeremy). I always appreciate, though, how much interest they show in my life even though I don't see them that much.
Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. I know I am thankful for everyone reading this, because it means that they care about me and have probably made a significant contribution in my life. Don't ever worry that your contribution is for nothing...I'm am trying really hard to do well in college--and I know that my life is more than my own, so you shouldn't worry about me making poor choices. When these 4 years are done and over with, it's going to be the people reading this right now who are going to be the ones I thank for wherever I am...thank you in advance.
I hope you all recognize what a great country we live in. Sure, it's sinful, self-obsessed, and plenty of other negative things...but do remember that you got to pray with your family around the dinner table on Thursday without fear of reprisal. Remember that you make more money in a day than most people in the world make in a month. Remember that you were able to drive to your destination in a running vehicle this past Thanksgiving...and that you were able to eat until you were way passed full. Not too bad.
Also remember, that to whom much is given, much is expected. I hope we can remember that when we see those in need. It's not enough to give when it is convenient...giving (and loving for that matter) is about sacrifice, which is never convenient.
My little children let us not love in words alone, but in deeds and truth
1 John 3:18
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Good News
Just talked to my Art Appreciation teacher today, and she said I currently have a 95% in the class!! Whoo Hoo. Praise the the Lord. As long as I can keep breathing I should be fine :)
Keep praying for me, though. Got two sizable projects that I have due after Thanksgiving...want to make sure I do well on both of them. One of the projects is in Convergent Journalism where I have a 89%...so a good project would give me an A.
Have a good Thanksgiving everyone. I am heading down to San Diego on Thursday to see the the family down there, and will stay till Saturday.
Keep praying for me, though. Got two sizable projects that I have due after Thanksgiving...want to make sure I do well on both of them. One of the projects is in Convergent Journalism where I have a 89%...so a good project would give me an A.
Have a good Thanksgiving everyone. I am heading down to San Diego on Thursday to see the the family down there, and will stay till Saturday.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Please Pray for me
The end of the semester is upon me. The end of my first semester at Biola...wow.
Anyways, for the first time in my life I am actually worried about my grades.
It is not that I am doing bad or anything....it's just that I got $4,700/yr on the line if I don't make a 3.3 GPA...that basically means I need 3 As out of my 6 classes.
Now, I for certain I will get an A in two of my classes, but the other 4 are causing me my worry. The teachers never seem to tell what your grades are, so even though I know I have been doing pretty well in those classes, I have no clue as to where I am at--which would be beneficial to know beacause if I am borderline then I need to work extra hard studing for the final.
Anyways, I am just anxious....I guess I was feeling fine until I found out that I did worse on the last math test than I expected....I'm going to have to nail the last test in that class in order to get an A.
But just pray for me. Pray that I'd have endurance to push through all this. I mean, in reality I probably should be feeling just fine--there has definitely got to be at least one A in those remaining 4 classes--however the amount of money at stake is causing me a bit of stress. So just also pray that I'd feel the peace of God upon me as I finish out the year.
Thank You
Anyways, for the first time in my life I am actually worried about my grades.
It is not that I am doing bad or anything....it's just that I got $4,700/yr on the line if I don't make a 3.3 GPA...that basically means I need 3 As out of my 6 classes.
Now, I for certain I will get an A in two of my classes, but the other 4 are causing me my worry. The teachers never seem to tell what your grades are, so even though I know I have been doing pretty well in those classes, I have no clue as to where I am at--which would be beneficial to know beacause if I am borderline then I need to work extra hard studing for the final.
Anyways, I am just anxious....I guess I was feeling fine until I found out that I did worse on the last math test than I expected....I'm going to have to nail the last test in that class in order to get an A.
But just pray for me. Pray that I'd have endurance to push through all this. I mean, in reality I probably should be feeling just fine--there has definitely got to be at least one A in those remaining 4 classes--however the amount of money at stake is causing me a bit of stress. So just also pray that I'd feel the peace of God upon me as I finish out the year.
Thank You
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
How the....?
How did Jesus do it?
How did Jesus remain absolutely morally perfect but yet reach all facets of society? Maybe the answer is just that He is God...but think about it...
...It seems that in our times, in order to reach a certain group of people, you have to be or at least act like that group of people. You want to bring the Gospel to a bunch of punk, street kids? Then you have to become a punk, street kid. I mean think about it, how effective would your typical white-colar, middle-class Christian guy be at a ministry like that?
It seems that the people who are the most effective and evangelizing are the people who struggle the most. I mean, the people who bring others to Christ are the ones who have fought through the most raunchy of lives, experienced the most painful of things, and who have made the worst choices. By their stories of finding new life in Christ, others are inspired to seek after God.
In our post-modern, nihilistic world, you're often labeled "fake" if you are not going through some extrutiating trial or if you're generally joyful in life. No one likes a "faker"...no, this culture wants "honesty"...don't give them none of that suburban happy-life stuff--they like it raw.
Thus...many of us who have not undergone that dramatic 180 conversion in life often have a hard time relating to secularized culture.
Again I ask, how did Jesus do it? Nowadays it seems like you have to be going through some serious sin struggle to reach people. Jesus was morally perfect....He reached thousands in His time on Earth--hundreds of millions in His time in heaven.
What was it about Jesus that drew people? Was it simply because He was God...or was there something in His actions and words that drew people?
Jesus dwelt among the sinners....yet He Himself did not sin. He rebuked sin, but not once did anyone call Him "judgmental" or label Him as "up-tight" and "conservative."
How did He do it?.....I really don't know.
How did Jesus remain absolutely morally perfect but yet reach all facets of society? Maybe the answer is just that He is God...but think about it...
...It seems that in our times, in order to reach a certain group of people, you have to be or at least act like that group of people. You want to bring the Gospel to a bunch of punk, street kids? Then you have to become a punk, street kid. I mean think about it, how effective would your typical white-colar, middle-class Christian guy be at a ministry like that?
It seems that the people who are the most effective and evangelizing are the people who struggle the most. I mean, the people who bring others to Christ are the ones who have fought through the most raunchy of lives, experienced the most painful of things, and who have made the worst choices. By their stories of finding new life in Christ, others are inspired to seek after God.
In our post-modern, nihilistic world, you're often labeled "fake" if you are not going through some extrutiating trial or if you're generally joyful in life. No one likes a "faker"...no, this culture wants "honesty"...don't give them none of that suburban happy-life stuff--they like it raw.
Thus...many of us who have not undergone that dramatic 180 conversion in life often have a hard time relating to secularized culture.
Again I ask, how did Jesus do it? Nowadays it seems like you have to be going through some serious sin struggle to reach people. Jesus was morally perfect....He reached thousands in His time on Earth--hundreds of millions in His time in heaven.
What was it about Jesus that drew people? Was it simply because He was God...or was there something in His actions and words that drew people?
Jesus dwelt among the sinners....yet He Himself did not sin. He rebuked sin, but not once did anyone call Him "judgmental" or label Him as "up-tight" and "conservative."
How did He do it?.....I really don't know.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Pics from Movie Night
A bunch of people from Sigma went to the ArcLight theater in Hollywood. It is a nice theater!! ($14 a ticket)--there are leather seats! We all wanted to dress up for it, so here we are. This was last Friday. We saw The Prestige, which was extremely good!
Friday, November 03, 2006
Today's Chapel
This morning in chapel we had a guy from our School of Intercultural Studies speak. He has been a missioary in Pakistan and Afghanistan.
He brought with him quite the stories. He spent time with people in these countries that regularly went on "jihad," and yet they accepted him with them because he showed love and care. The speaker's message kind of revolved around that. He was able to witness to these people not because he pushed his message, but because he just showed them basic human care.
I suppose that is a good message for us all to hear. Sometimes wae become so concerned with audibly spreading the Gospel that we forget to show people the care that Jesus showed others. People are going to be much more open and susceptible to the Gospel if we at first acknowledge their human needs--if we just take them as they are and care for them without passing harsh judgments. This guy could have condemned these people he was staying with, but then he would not have gotten the opportunities he did to share Christ's love--in fact he probably would have been dead.
These things aren't easy. It is too easy to pass judgments. And you know what, it's not that some things aren't wrong--some things are. This guy that spoke to us didn't like that these people were going on jihad, and he even said today that he really isn't that interested in Islam. But you know what, despite his disagreements, he still just took these people for what they were, and was a friend to them. Having personal judgments is inevitable--sin is sin, is sin, right---but we have to decide whether we're going to let these things get in the way of God's ministry.
Refering to the post below this one, I am definitely having to learn this message with some of my Christian brothers.
He brought with him quite the stories. He spent time with people in these countries that regularly went on "jihad," and yet they accepted him with them because he showed love and care. The speaker's message kind of revolved around that. He was able to witness to these people not because he pushed his message, but because he just showed them basic human care.
I suppose that is a good message for us all to hear. Sometimes wae become so concerned with audibly spreading the Gospel that we forget to show people the care that Jesus showed others. People are going to be much more open and susceptible to the Gospel if we at first acknowledge their human needs--if we just take them as they are and care for them without passing harsh judgments. This guy could have condemned these people he was staying with, but then he would not have gotten the opportunities he did to share Christ's love--in fact he probably would have been dead.
These things aren't easy. It is too easy to pass judgments. And you know what, it's not that some things aren't wrong--some things are. This guy that spoke to us didn't like that these people were going on jihad, and he even said today that he really isn't that interested in Islam. But you know what, despite his disagreements, he still just took these people for what they were, and was a friend to them. Having personal judgments is inevitable--sin is sin, is sin, right---but we have to decide whether we're going to let these things get in the way of God's ministry.
Refering to the post below this one, I am definitely having to learn this message with some of my Christian brothers.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Curious Indeed
Just a note....I am going to start using this blog for more than just talking to people back home...I kind of want to use it for a forum of my general thoughts as well...I still will give you all updates, though, just like always.
_______________________________________
It really is quite curious how much my faith has been challenged since I have gotten to Biola. I knew that I would grow in my faith here, but I never thought I'd have so many people in opposition to the finer points of Christian living that I believe and practice.
Biola really draws a diverse range of people...maybe it doesn't appear that way on the outside (all Christian, 70% white), but being in the culture I can really see the differences of people. There are people here who have been Christians all their lives, and their are people here (like my roommate) who have only been Christians for a few years. That in itself causes a lot of mixed beliefs. Furthermore, Biola attracts people from around the world, many of them missionary kids--you can imagine the diversity that brings.
It just has been a very (insert any adjective here) experience for me. I mean, growing up in the same church all my life, I never really heard too many things that I outright disagreed with. I never really engaged in any heated theological debate with fellow Christians.
So being here at Biola, where there really is no official denomination (except for the very broad "evangelical" Christian), I have run into a lot of weird things. One day I'm hearing people behind me talk about speaking in tongues, the next day I got my roommate trying to tell me that he doesn't think cussing is wrong, and still another person is suggesting that calling God "father" is just as wrong as refering to Him in feminine terms. Wow! Just remember these are students, not professors.
Now, all this is good for me, you guys don't have to remind me. I am very confident that I am experiencing exactly what God wants me to experience. If my faith is never challenged, how strong can it be, right? I just feel trapped often times because where I used to be so confident in making a theological statement, now I kind of hesitate...fearing that I'll aggravate an argument.
But yeah, Grace people back home, don't think that Biola is a bad school or anything--it isn't. Biola is an awesome school and I am so glad I am here. I have already learned a lot about defending my faith and am constantly being forced to think about my faith--especially in my cultural anthropology class where my professor likes to just throw purposefully controversial things at the class.
One of the most important things that I have taken out of this whole belief shock is that even if a fellow Christian disagress with me, as long as he believes the Gospel, he is still my Christian brother....seems a simple concept, but I have experientially learned it down here.
_______________________________________
It really is quite curious how much my faith has been challenged since I have gotten to Biola. I knew that I would grow in my faith here, but I never thought I'd have so many people in opposition to the finer points of Christian living that I believe and practice.
Biola really draws a diverse range of people...maybe it doesn't appear that way on the outside (all Christian, 70% white), but being in the culture I can really see the differences of people. There are people here who have been Christians all their lives, and their are people here (like my roommate) who have only been Christians for a few years. That in itself causes a lot of mixed beliefs. Furthermore, Biola attracts people from around the world, many of them missionary kids--you can imagine the diversity that brings.
It just has been a very (insert any adjective here) experience for me. I mean, growing up in the same church all my life, I never really heard too many things that I outright disagreed with. I never really engaged in any heated theological debate with fellow Christians.
So being here at Biola, where there really is no official denomination (except for the very broad "evangelical" Christian), I have run into a lot of weird things. One day I'm hearing people behind me talk about speaking in tongues, the next day I got my roommate trying to tell me that he doesn't think cussing is wrong, and still another person is suggesting that calling God "father" is just as wrong as refering to Him in feminine terms. Wow! Just remember these are students, not professors.
Now, all this is good for me, you guys don't have to remind me. I am very confident that I am experiencing exactly what God wants me to experience. If my faith is never challenged, how strong can it be, right? I just feel trapped often times because where I used to be so confident in making a theological statement, now I kind of hesitate...fearing that I'll aggravate an argument.
But yeah, Grace people back home, don't think that Biola is a bad school or anything--it isn't. Biola is an awesome school and I am so glad I am here. I have already learned a lot about defending my faith and am constantly being forced to think about my faith--especially in my cultural anthropology class where my professor likes to just throw purposefully controversial things at the class.
One of the most important things that I have taken out of this whole belief shock is that even if a fellow Christian disagress with me, as long as he believes the Gospel, he is still my Christian brother....seems a simple concept, but I have experientially learned it down here.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Thanks
Thanks people for sending me all this lovely stuff. Farr Grandparents, Wihllhite Grandparents, mom, dad, Wheelers, Deborah...you all know who you are. The delivery guy knows me by name now, I think, hehe. Really I appreciate it.
Oh yeah, and happy anniversary to the Willhite Grandparents!
Oh yeah, and happy anniversary to the Willhite Grandparents!
Monday, October 30, 2006
18 Hours of Inflatables
So this guy on my floor is associated with this company that provides inflatables and other amusement type things to people running events. This company got hired by a mega church about an hour from where I am called Mariners Church. The church was putting on a huge harvest carnival type thing--I mean huge. The company needed help, so this guy on my floor asked a bunch of us if we wanted to go--I said I would.
The event was held last Saturday and we all had to leave at 8:45 AM. Once we got there, we worked until 2:00 AM ---no that is not a typo, AM; an almost 18 hour job. The funny thing is, only 2 1/2 hours of that was the actual event. Most of our time was spent setting up and tearing down. It was really hard work, and none of us got a lot of food. However, I did get paid $200, so it was definitely worth it. I really praise God for that--I needed the money.
The event was held last Saturday and we all had to leave at 8:45 AM. Once we got there, we worked until 2:00 AM ---no that is not a typo, AM; an almost 18 hour job. The funny thing is, only 2 1/2 hours of that was the actual event. Most of our time was spent setting up and tearing down. It was really hard work, and none of us got a lot of food. However, I did get paid $200, so it was definitely worth it. I really praise God for that--I needed the money.
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