Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Busy week
This weekend I caught up on some sleep.
Last week was crazy. I had a paper due every day Mon-Thu. On top of that, we've been having a lot of issue at The Chimes that have drained me physically and emotionally.
Good news is that I love Redeemer Church! The past few services have been so amazing. My church always amazes me with how intentional and open it is. I love how spontaneous it can be too. Though we have an intentional structure, the leaders allow short, unplanned diversions as the Spirit leads. There is so much authenticity in that.
It's crazy that I'm already halfway through with the semester. Unbelievable. I'll be honest, I'm much more scared of graduation than excited. When I entered college I never imagined how unstable things would get. Everyone always gave me the impression that a college degree was a ticket to success. And yet, most of the people I know who graduated last year are still looking for work (including some people who I consider much more ambitious than me). It's hard to authentically enjoy life when I have that huge burden on me to find a job -- which is made all the more heavy by the $40,000 in student loans I'll have to pay off.
I want to go to the beach; I want to take trips; I want to go on dates. Yet all these things feel so trivial when I consider my imminent need to find employment. Yes, I know God will take care of me...you don't need to remind me. But I'm still an emotional wreck because I don't know exactly how specifically God's sovereignty applies to my life. (How specifically has God planned my life? How much effort does he expect from me?)
My one comfort right now is that I have a lot of support from family. Obviously no one is going to allow me to end up on the street. Still, I came to college so that I could do something with my life and support myself, not so that I could move back home and mooch off my family for a few more years.
I don't know where I'm going.
Last week was crazy. I had a paper due every day Mon-Thu. On top of that, we've been having a lot of issue at The Chimes that have drained me physically and emotionally.
Good news is that I love Redeemer Church! The past few services have been so amazing. My church always amazes me with how intentional and open it is. I love how spontaneous it can be too. Though we have an intentional structure, the leaders allow short, unplanned diversions as the Spirit leads. There is so much authenticity in that.
It's crazy that I'm already halfway through with the semester. Unbelievable. I'll be honest, I'm much more scared of graduation than excited. When I entered college I never imagined how unstable things would get. Everyone always gave me the impression that a college degree was a ticket to success. And yet, most of the people I know who graduated last year are still looking for work (including some people who I consider much more ambitious than me). It's hard to authentically enjoy life when I have that huge burden on me to find a job -- which is made all the more heavy by the $40,000 in student loans I'll have to pay off.
I want to go to the beach; I want to take trips; I want to go on dates. Yet all these things feel so trivial when I consider my imminent need to find employment. Yes, I know God will take care of me...you don't need to remind me. But I'm still an emotional wreck because I don't know exactly how specifically God's sovereignty applies to my life. (How specifically has God planned my life? How much effort does he expect from me?)
My one comfort right now is that I have a lot of support from family. Obviously no one is going to allow me to end up on the street. Still, I came to college so that I could do something with my life and support myself, not so that I could move back home and mooch off my family for a few more years.
I don't know where I'm going.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sigh
It's been kind of an emotional week for me. Nothing in particular happened, it's just because I tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, every once it a while something small will "break the dam" so to speak and I'll get flooded. This has been one of those weeks.
The good thing is that God has surrounded me with some good people that are very eager to listen to me. I've had so many solid conversations that past few weeks.
I just think to much, you know. My professor put it well in a lecture he gave today about an unrelated topic: I'm "hypersensitive" to the world around me. So much goes through my brain. I'm constantly philosophizing and/or debating with myself. The good news, is that this is a sign, my professor said, of a creative person. So I guess that's cool :)
The good thing is that God has surrounded me with some good people that are very eager to listen to me. I've had so many solid conversations that past few weeks.
I just think to much, you know. My professor put it well in a lecture he gave today about an unrelated topic: I'm "hypersensitive" to the world around me. So much goes through my brain. I'm constantly philosophizing and/or debating with myself. The good news, is that this is a sign, my professor said, of a creative person. So I guess that's cool :)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Webbyized
So the reason I've neglected my sacred duty of updating this blog has everything to do with my new job. I am the Web editor this year for my campus paper (ooohh!), which means 20+ hours of my week is spent contributing to the Internet beast on our own little corner of http://chimes.biola.edu. In other words, my Internet presence has been directed elsewhere.
I do lament that I have left you uninformed since I've started school this semester. Do know, however -- and be happy -- that I am really enjoying my new job. I'll be honest, I've been skeptical of all this Internet news business. Call me old-fashioned, but I really like newspapers. So the Internet, which has basically bankrupted the newspaper industry, for me has been a dubious yet unavoidable monster. If I am truthful with myself, I'd have to say that I applied for my current position partly because of obligation and disgruntled surrender.
I report today, however, that my thinking has changed.
I really enjoy my job. In fact -- and it feels like heresy to say -- I actually enjoy this job more than my job last year as news editor for the print edition (gasp!). The editor-in-chief has given me a lot of freedom, so I almost feel like I'm in charge of my own publication. And this whole news video thing has been quite a kick! I got a skilled dude working as the Web site's multimedia editor, and he has been putting together some entertaining stuff with the videographer I just hired. I also started up a whole new blog effort for the site, where I'm asking people from groups around campus to contribute.
I'll give you a little anecdote that demonstrates the cool factor of my job:
Today I was sitting down in the office at a computer and with my laptop out. Both computers were running Internet browsers, each with multiple tabs running within them. As I worked I went back and forth, back and forth. I would add content to the Web site on one computer, then view it on the Web site on the other. One Web browser is running a Google Doc, the other has Facebook and Twitter open so that I can link the new content. If one site was busy loading a page, I'd switch over to the other. Supa Web savvy, that's right!
So much multitasking! So much fun!
____
I'm really liking my classes. Totally loving my philosophy class and media ethics class. I also have a class on the Gospel of John; great prof.
Apartment life also rocks. I finally got a bunch of food. Also have done a bit of decorating. I've kind of taken on the role as Resident Assistant of my apartment, which I don't really mind, it's just funny -- I'm buying bulletin boards, posting notes, reminding people to do the dishes, hehe.
That's about it. Chill.
I do lament that I have left you uninformed since I've started school this semester. Do know, however -- and be happy -- that I am really enjoying my new job. I'll be honest, I've been skeptical of all this Internet news business. Call me old-fashioned, but I really like newspapers. So the Internet, which has basically bankrupted the newspaper industry, for me has been a dubious yet unavoidable monster. If I am truthful with myself, I'd have to say that I applied for my current position partly because of obligation and disgruntled surrender.
I report today, however, that my thinking has changed.
I really enjoy my job. In fact -- and it feels like heresy to say -- I actually enjoy this job more than my job last year as news editor for the print edition (gasp!). The editor-in-chief has given me a lot of freedom, so I almost feel like I'm in charge of my own publication. And this whole news video thing has been quite a kick! I got a skilled dude working as the Web site's multimedia editor, and he has been putting together some entertaining stuff with the videographer I just hired. I also started up a whole new blog effort for the site, where I'm asking people from groups around campus to contribute.
I'll give you a little anecdote that demonstrates the cool factor of my job:
Today I was sitting down in the office at a computer and with my laptop out. Both computers were running Internet browsers, each with multiple tabs running within them. As I worked I went back and forth, back and forth. I would add content to the Web site on one computer, then view it on the Web site on the other. One Web browser is running a Google Doc, the other has Facebook and Twitter open so that I can link the new content. If one site was busy loading a page, I'd switch over to the other. Supa Web savvy, that's right!
So much multitasking! So much fun!
____
I'm really liking my classes. Totally loving my philosophy class and media ethics class. I also have a class on the Gospel of John; great prof.
Apartment life also rocks. I finally got a bunch of food. Also have done a bit of decorating. I've kind of taken on the role as Resident Assistant of my apartment, which I don't really mind, it's just funny -- I'm buying bulletin boards, posting notes, reminding people to do the dishes, hehe.
That's about it. Chill.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Hike
I wrote this about my hike to Maxwell Lake near the Lostine River in eastern Oregon, where our family often camps. Enjoy.
_________________
East over Oregon's rugged Cascade Mountains, down into a dry land as much brown as green, through the windy gorge of the great Columbia, and finally into the hills of the Wallowas. Here, at a wooden footbridge over a shallow, winding and frigged river they call the Lostine we begin our hike.
Four miles lay before us. Not a long hike; about three and half hours if we keep good pace. But every mile will be well fought for. The trail is steep and wild; only half-tamed by works of man. A short, easy hike to a rocky crossing of the river sets our pace. Across it, a field of tall grass and bright flowers awaits. We cautiously cross the river, with more than one of us soaking our feet as we slip on the slick rocks.
Onto the real trail we then begin. It is steeper now; thinner. The forest encloses us, and occasional sharp, rocky drops on our right warn us of misstepping. We come to the first switchback, a place where the trail turns around and sharply inclines, taking us above ground previously covered. There will be eight of these before the top. A short rest, a sip of water, and then we continue.
Legs weary; breathing becomes a fight. Jagged, salt and pepper speckled granite pebbles crush methodically underneath our boot-laden feet, orchestrating the unconscious rhythm to which we hike. Larger, less weathered stones often jut from the trail, only aggravating our already burning thighs. A hike more like a rock climb, we often think.
But then, out of the shadows of hallways of pine suddenly blossoms a field of luscious green. The violets, reds and deep blues of various flowers stand scattered about the refreshing meadow, laid out in a pattern known only to their maker. Soft dirt replaces hard stone beneath our feet. Cackling chirps of untamed birds sound out from above. We're still far from through, but softer scenery gives us some reprieve.
We reach the final switchback an hour later. But victory seems small against the path ahead. Now, the path inclines sharper than it ever has before. The trail becomes like a trench at some points; a rocky creek at others. We are led through lively, colorful fields at the foot of powerful rocky mountains. Birds sing and fly above us. But we hardly notice. The trail fools us with crests that seem to mark the end, but once reached only reveal even more obstacles ahead.
Another ridge is reached. But then a bend. And suddenly, unexpectedly, a valley lays before us. A splash of blue lays on its far side. A lake; our destination. Steep cliffs of white stone rise threateningly around the isolated pool, as if guarding its serenity. A sudden decline in the trail raises our spirits and reinvigorates our legs. A thin dirt trail leads us down through fields of green and along, over and beside thin, rapid streams.
The blue looks more green now as the lake draws near. A rocky outcrop must be traversed before we can reach the lake's shore. Coming over the rocks, we arrive at a trail leading around the lake. Thin, reddish-brown forms dart in the water below—brook trout as far as we can tell.
A patch of grass flanked by a vast field of tall, stacked stone on one side and a crop of pines on the other, is where we finally sit down to rest. Plump, honey-striped bees hop from blossom to blossom around our feet. Large horse flies buzz annoyingly around our heads; mosquitoes stab lustily into our flesh. The tangy aroma of bug spray soon taints the sweet mountain air. A cool breeze ripples the opal lake, gently shifts through the trees, and tingles our skin as it wraps around our weary bodies. A subtle “plop” disturbs the calm, yet seems not out of place. We glance at the sound's origin, seeing only a pulsating ring of water. Another near it, this time preceded by a flash of silver, confirms our hopes: the fish are hungry.
As we fish, eat and rest bare-footed upon large stones, gray clouds emerge over the steep rocks around us. Light rain dampens the land, but we do not seek cover. The air is cool, but that's just fine. The fish are biting, and our cares couldn't be farther.
_________________
East over Oregon's rugged Cascade Mountains, down into a dry land as much brown as green, through the windy gorge of the great Columbia, and finally into the hills of the Wallowas. Here, at a wooden footbridge over a shallow, winding and frigged river they call the Lostine we begin our hike.
Four miles lay before us. Not a long hike; about three and half hours if we keep good pace. But every mile will be well fought for. The trail is steep and wild; only half-tamed by works of man. A short, easy hike to a rocky crossing of the river sets our pace. Across it, a field of tall grass and bright flowers awaits. We cautiously cross the river, with more than one of us soaking our feet as we slip on the slick rocks.
Onto the real trail we then begin. It is steeper now; thinner. The forest encloses us, and occasional sharp, rocky drops on our right warn us of misstepping. We come to the first switchback, a place where the trail turns around and sharply inclines, taking us above ground previously covered. There will be eight of these before the top. A short rest, a sip of water, and then we continue.
Legs weary; breathing becomes a fight. Jagged, salt and pepper speckled granite pebbles crush methodically underneath our boot-laden feet, orchestrating the unconscious rhythm to which we hike. Larger, less weathered stones often jut from the trail, only aggravating our already burning thighs. A hike more like a rock climb, we often think.
But then, out of the shadows of hallways of pine suddenly blossoms a field of luscious green. The violets, reds and deep blues of various flowers stand scattered about the refreshing meadow, laid out in a pattern known only to their maker. Soft dirt replaces hard stone beneath our feet. Cackling chirps of untamed birds sound out from above. We're still far from through, but softer scenery gives us some reprieve.
We reach the final switchback an hour later. But victory seems small against the path ahead. Now, the path inclines sharper than it ever has before. The trail becomes like a trench at some points; a rocky creek at others. We are led through lively, colorful fields at the foot of powerful rocky mountains. Birds sing and fly above us. But we hardly notice. The trail fools us with crests that seem to mark the end, but once reached only reveal even more obstacles ahead.
Another ridge is reached. But then a bend. And suddenly, unexpectedly, a valley lays before us. A splash of blue lays on its far side. A lake; our destination. Steep cliffs of white stone rise threateningly around the isolated pool, as if guarding its serenity. A sudden decline in the trail raises our spirits and reinvigorates our legs. A thin dirt trail leads us down through fields of green and along, over and beside thin, rapid streams.
The blue looks more green now as the lake draws near. A rocky outcrop must be traversed before we can reach the lake's shore. Coming over the rocks, we arrive at a trail leading around the lake. Thin, reddish-brown forms dart in the water below—brook trout as far as we can tell.
A patch of grass flanked by a vast field of tall, stacked stone on one side and a crop of pines on the other, is where we finally sit down to rest. Plump, honey-striped bees hop from blossom to blossom around our feet. Large horse flies buzz annoyingly around our heads; mosquitoes stab lustily into our flesh. The tangy aroma of bug spray soon taints the sweet mountain air. A cool breeze ripples the opal lake, gently shifts through the trees, and tingles our skin as it wraps around our weary bodies. A subtle “plop” disturbs the calm, yet seems not out of place. We glance at the sound's origin, seeing only a pulsating ring of water. Another near it, this time preceded by a flash of silver, confirms our hopes: the fish are hungry.
As we fish, eat and rest bare-footed upon large stones, gray clouds emerge over the steep rocks around us. Light rain dampens the land, but we do not seek cover. The air is cool, but that's just fine. The fish are biting, and our cares couldn't be farther.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Praise Jesus for Financial Aid
Today I completed my last phase of registration for classes next semester. Wonderful news: I OWE NOTHING OUT OF POCKET THIS SEMESTER. Woot! Thanks to a $2,000 scholarship I recently won, my entire tuition and meal plan expenses are covered by financial aid -- with $500 extra that I can use for next semester (or use for books or something).
I've struggled with doubt as of late; doubts about my future, God, whatever. This good news doesn't necessarily cure the doubt, but it definitely improves my perspective in life and reminds me to rejoice and be thankful for my prvileged existence. I could focus on all the student loans I'm going to have to deal with; I could focus on my uncertainty about the future; I could even focus on deep theological struggles I'm having about God. But here, now, I can find joy for being well fed, clothed -- and having a $0 balance due on my Biola Bill.
___
News about me:
I'm going camping with my family this weekend, and then will head back to Biola on August 14th or 15th. I get to move into my new apartment!!!!! Yay!!!
I've struggled with doubt as of late; doubts about my future, God, whatever. This good news doesn't necessarily cure the doubt, but it definitely improves my perspective in life and reminds me to rejoice and be thankful for my prvileged existence. I could focus on all the student loans I'm going to have to deal with; I could focus on my uncertainty about the future; I could even focus on deep theological struggles I'm having about God. But here, now, I can find joy for being well fed, clothed -- and having a $0 balance due on my Biola Bill.
___
News about me:
I'm going camping with my family this weekend, and then will head back to Biola on August 14th or 15th. I get to move into my new apartment!!!!! Yay!!!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Opal Creek
I saw Oregon nature at its finest the past week. It started with a hike to Opal Creek with my friends Bethany and Mikayla, along with some students from Corban. There we found a beautiful 30-40-foot waterfall falling into an 8-foot deep, green hued and beautifully clear pool.
We also found a very, very cool natural rock waterslide. A large rock formation had been so eroded and smoothed out by the river that you're able to slide down it into a mini-pool below.
It was so cool that I came back two days later with my dad and brothers. Was just as cool the second time.
We also found a very, very cool natural rock waterslide. A large rock formation had been so eroded and smoothed out by the river that you're able to slide down it into a mini-pool below.
It was so cool that I came back two days later with my dad and brothers. Was just as cool the second time.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Kudos to my buddy
My friend, William Hellmuth, who graduated last year and goes to my church, is directing a Web series. It's post-apocalyptic kind of gig. It's very good, and it's very professional. Most of the film is shot on Biola's campus, and I know a couple of the actors.
Check it out. It's called The Black Dawn.
http://webserials.com/blackdawn/index.html
By the way, this is my 100th post. Yay!
Check it out. It's called The Black Dawn.
http://webserials.com/blackdawn/index.html
By the way, this is my 100th post. Yay!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
A little media criticism
I read this headline and lede from a NBC news feed:
Now, at first read, nothing seems amiss. Pretty straightforward, yeah?
But at second look I saw what frustrates me most about the abortion debate and the biased language media often use.
"...protections for women's right to choose."
The reporter of this article has taken a position whether he or she knows it or not. The language speaks of abortion as a right to be protected. By labeling abortion as a woman's right, the reporter makes those against abortion look like the bad guys. After all, we Americans have always been fiercely protective of our rights and demonize anyone who would take them away.
But for those against abortion, the debate has never been about a woman's right to choose--it is about a child's right to live (and that right is in the Declaration of Independence). For them, abortion is no more a right than is genocide. You wouldn't say it's a mother's right to murder her 4-year-old son, would you?
People on both sides of the abortion debate use euphemisms to make their side sound better and the other side worse. The label "pro-choice" makes abortion supporters sound like the noble protector of rights, while at the same time implying the other side is full of women oppressors. The label "pro-life" makes the anti-abortion crowd sound like saviors, while implying the others side is full of murderers.
Both labels are unhelpful. The anti-abortion crowd doesn't see abortion as an issue of women's rights. The pro-abortion crowd doesn't believe a fetus is a legitimate life, so they don't see abortion as murder. A false dichotomy is created with these labels. You're either for rights or you're for life. There is no reason you should have to choose between those fundamental concepts.
The debate truly is about when life begins, not about women's rights. The debate will move nowhere while both sides continued to miscategorize one another. And reporters need to be more careful with their language.
ABORTION RIGHTS BACKERS GET ASSURANCES
The White House scrambles to assuage liberal groups that Judge Sonia Sotomayor agrees with Obama's belief in protections for women's right to choose.
Now, at first read, nothing seems amiss. Pretty straightforward, yeah?
But at second look I saw what frustrates me most about the abortion debate and the biased language media often use.
"...protections for women's right to choose."
The reporter of this article has taken a position whether he or she knows it or not. The language speaks of abortion as a right to be protected. By labeling abortion as a woman's right, the reporter makes those against abortion look like the bad guys. After all, we Americans have always been fiercely protective of our rights and demonize anyone who would take them away.
But for those against abortion, the debate has never been about a woman's right to choose--it is about a child's right to live (and that right is in the Declaration of Independence). For them, abortion is no more a right than is genocide. You wouldn't say it's a mother's right to murder her 4-year-old son, would you?
People on both sides of the abortion debate use euphemisms to make their side sound better and the other side worse. The label "pro-choice" makes abortion supporters sound like the noble protector of rights, while at the same time implying the other side is full of women oppressors. The label "pro-life" makes the anti-abortion crowd sound like saviors, while implying the others side is full of murderers.
Both labels are unhelpful. The anti-abortion crowd doesn't see abortion as an issue of women's rights. The pro-abortion crowd doesn't believe a fetus is a legitimate life, so they don't see abortion as murder. A false dichotomy is created with these labels. You're either for rights or you're for life. There is no reason you should have to choose between those fundamental concepts.
The debate truly is about when life begins, not about women's rights. The debate will move nowhere while both sides continued to miscategorize one another. And reporters need to be more careful with their language.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Commitment
I've realized something about myself. I'm afraid of commitment.
It's a strange thing to admit because I've always bashed on our non-commitment culture, especially as it applies to men. After all, we should be strong and courageous, right? We should go head-first into relationships, jobs and whatever else with unflinching resolve and dedication.
It's strange because being a Christian is a huge commitment. Coming to Biola was quite the commitment. Getting tattoos on my calves was a heavy commitment. So it's not like I'm totally afraid of commitment. It seems with issues of my faith and its expression I feel much more comfortable. But maybe that's just because I was raised in it and haven't suffered a ton of persecution for it.
But back to the issue:
Take for example my lack of a dating life. Is it lacking because I don't have options; because I'm a geeky loner who's afraid to talk to girls? Not really. I mean, if anything, there are too many options (the Biola ratio kills me sometimes). But I don't do anything about it, even though it wouldn't be that hard.
Why don't I do anything about it? Well, one, because I'm afraid of giving up sovereignty in my life to anyone but God; I want to be able to make decisions freely, without worrying about how I'm affecting someone else. The second reason is because I'm afraid of choosing the wrong person. I'm afraid of committing to someone and then later discovering someone else "better." Obviously this is unhealthy and irrational fear, but it's what I'm feeling, and trying harder rarely makes a feeling go away.
This problem extends to career life too. Several options lay before me right now. I could continue along the straight and narrow, following what I've always thought would be my journey: journalism, media, writing, the like. Now as I've watched the newspaper industry and the economy in general crumble, another option (which I don't want to make public yet) has presented itself.
This second option is very left-field for me and would, I know, surprise a lot of people. This option is very attractive to me right now, however, and wouldn't necessarily mean me giving up my craft--just expressing it in a much different context. But despite how strongly I feel about this option, I haven't committed to it. Why? Well, because something better might come up.
There's certainly wisdom in prudence. People who throw themselves around at everything, committing themselves recklessly without thinking, obviously have their own set of issues. I've always valued deep consideration and self-control. And after all that thinking, when I do decide to commit to something, I commit hard-core.
That's likely why dating is such an issue for me. I can't stand the idea of just casually going out with someone. For me, you should either commit hard-core or do nothing; hanging out in the middle isn't productive in my mind. I imagine this dichotomy I draw isn't always good. I imagine being in the middle often requires the most faith.
But it also makes you so vulnerable to hurt--something I desperately try to avoid.
It's a strange thing to admit because I've always bashed on our non-commitment culture, especially as it applies to men. After all, we should be strong and courageous, right? We should go head-first into relationships, jobs and whatever else with unflinching resolve and dedication.
It's strange because being a Christian is a huge commitment. Coming to Biola was quite the commitment. Getting tattoos on my calves was a heavy commitment. So it's not like I'm totally afraid of commitment. It seems with issues of my faith and its expression I feel much more comfortable. But maybe that's just because I was raised in it and haven't suffered a ton of persecution for it.
But back to the issue:
Take for example my lack of a dating life. Is it lacking because I don't have options; because I'm a geeky loner who's afraid to talk to girls? Not really. I mean, if anything, there are too many options (the Biola ratio kills me sometimes). But I don't do anything about it, even though it wouldn't be that hard.
Why don't I do anything about it? Well, one, because I'm afraid of giving up sovereignty in my life to anyone but God; I want to be able to make decisions freely, without worrying about how I'm affecting someone else. The second reason is because I'm afraid of choosing the wrong person. I'm afraid of committing to someone and then later discovering someone else "better." Obviously this is unhealthy and irrational fear, but it's what I'm feeling, and trying harder rarely makes a feeling go away.
This problem extends to career life too. Several options lay before me right now. I could continue along the straight and narrow, following what I've always thought would be my journey: journalism, media, writing, the like. Now as I've watched the newspaper industry and the economy in general crumble, another option (which I don't want to make public yet) has presented itself.
This second option is very left-field for me and would, I know, surprise a lot of people. This option is very attractive to me right now, however, and wouldn't necessarily mean me giving up my craft--just expressing it in a much different context. But despite how strongly I feel about this option, I haven't committed to it. Why? Well, because something better might come up.
There's certainly wisdom in prudence. People who throw themselves around at everything, committing themselves recklessly without thinking, obviously have their own set of issues. I've always valued deep consideration and self-control. And after all that thinking, when I do decide to commit to something, I commit hard-core.
That's likely why dating is such an issue for me. I can't stand the idea of just casually going out with someone. For me, you should either commit hard-core or do nothing; hanging out in the middle isn't productive in my mind. I imagine this dichotomy I draw isn't always good. I imagine being in the middle often requires the most faith.
But it also makes you so vulnerable to hurt--something I desperately try to avoid.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Viva la vida. La vida sin impossiblidades.
I often hear my friends -- or myself, in my own head -- wish for the day when things will be "stable." You know, the day when you don't have to worry about having different living arrangements or a different job every year; the day when essay writing is a thing of the past, and we leave our work at work.
Maybe there will be a day without essays, but I disbelieve that life will ever be "stable."
Those who have their money safely locked away in 401(k)s or other stock based retirement funds recently got their fill of the erroneous notion of stability. And I've learned the hard way that even family walks teeteringly on the edge of instability.
Five years ago I imagined myself soaking up the books (and rain) in some Oregon college with my high school sweetie no more than a short drive away. I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but aggressive career pursuits were far from my mind -- in fact I thought such thoughts flirted with idolatry. I was confident in my theology. Washington, D.C. was only a place I saw on the news.
Though my family still recognizes me well enough, when I return to Oregon I feel more and more like a stranger and visitor. Granted, I still have my quirks and hobbies and get along well enough, but the pool of experiences in which my life has been dipped -- apart from my family -- has washed away much naivety, innocence and presumptions I once held.
If so much can change in five years, where will I be in the next five? Even just a year ago I imagined myself graduating from college right into a newsroom as a reporter. Now I watch helplessly as the newspaper industry collapses across the nation. I watch unemployment numbers tick-tick-tick up, and read one article after the other about the plight of some family, group or individual that is suffering from an element of the economic blight. I watch my student loans stack up.
This is an unpredictable world. Didn't Jesus warn us not to obsess over the future? After all, he said, we don't even know what tomorrow will bring. We can plan this or plan that, but in the end it's often a roll of the dice; a draw of the cards. I can follow diligently the mist-shrouded land in the distance, but who knows what islands or icebergs will accompany my journey there -- or what mirage my goal will reveal itself to be.
I may or may not make some drastic decisions in this next year. I might surprise some people, and might disappoint others. But I do the best with what I have. It's guess work most of the time. My guiding principle is that which I had tattooed on my right calf a year and a half ago: πίστις--pistis. That is, faith. I am told in the Bible to walk by faith, not by sight. Faith is the "assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" says Hebrews 11:1.
There is a lot I can't see; a lot that can undermine any "stability" I find in life. But I have greater promises than stability.
Maybe there will be a day without essays, but I disbelieve that life will ever be "stable."
Those who have their money safely locked away in 401(k)s or other stock based retirement funds recently got their fill of the erroneous notion of stability. And I've learned the hard way that even family walks teeteringly on the edge of instability.
Five years ago I imagined myself soaking up the books (and rain) in some Oregon college with my high school sweetie no more than a short drive away. I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but aggressive career pursuits were far from my mind -- in fact I thought such thoughts flirted with idolatry. I was confident in my theology. Washington, D.C. was only a place I saw on the news.
Though my family still recognizes me well enough, when I return to Oregon I feel more and more like a stranger and visitor. Granted, I still have my quirks and hobbies and get along well enough, but the pool of experiences in which my life has been dipped -- apart from my family -- has washed away much naivety, innocence and presumptions I once held.
If so much can change in five years, where will I be in the next five? Even just a year ago I imagined myself graduating from college right into a newsroom as a reporter. Now I watch helplessly as the newspaper industry collapses across the nation. I watch unemployment numbers tick-tick-tick up, and read one article after the other about the plight of some family, group or individual that is suffering from an element of the economic blight. I watch my student loans stack up.
This is an unpredictable world. Didn't Jesus warn us not to obsess over the future? After all, he said, we don't even know what tomorrow will bring. We can plan this or plan that, but in the end it's often a roll of the dice; a draw of the cards. I can follow diligently the mist-shrouded land in the distance, but who knows what islands or icebergs will accompany my journey there -- or what mirage my goal will reveal itself to be.
I may or may not make some drastic decisions in this next year. I might surprise some people, and might disappoint others. But I do the best with what I have. It's guess work most of the time. My guiding principle is that which I had tattooed on my right calf a year and a half ago: πίστις--pistis. That is, faith. I am told in the Bible to walk by faith, not by sight. Faith is the "assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" says Hebrews 11:1.
There is a lot I can't see; a lot that can undermine any "stability" I find in life. But I have greater promises than stability.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
New Chimes Site
We had our site redesigned. So very attractive, I have to say. Can I smell a Webby award?
And I have the privilege of working with it next year as the Web editor. How lucky am I?
chimes.biola.edu
And I have the privilege of working with it next year as the Web editor. How lucky am I?
chimes.biola.edu
Monday, April 06, 2009
Article for Baptist Press
Biola had a giant debate on campus between a well-know apologist of ours and Christopher Hitchens, a prominent atheist and writer.
I got recruited by the head of our journalism department to write an article about it for a Christian news service called Baptist Press. Here's the link:
http://www.sbcbaptistpress.org/BPnews.asp?ID=30220
I got recruited by the head of our journalism department to write an article about it for a Christian news service called Baptist Press. Here's the link:
http://www.sbcbaptistpress.org/BPnews.asp?ID=30220
Friday, February 27, 2009
I really need to post more.
For those of you wondering why I haven't posted in more than a month, let me detail a typical Monday for you.
7:30 I wake up, eat breakfast, take a shower, etc.
8:30 I arrive at The Chimes office to work for an hour
9:30 I go to chapel
10:30 Tennis class
11:30 Lunch
12:00 Back to The Chimes office. Typically work on page layout, deal with emails.
12:30 Photography class
1:30 Back to The Chimes office. More page layout.
3:00 Theology class
4:30 Back to The Chimes office...again.
6:30 Dinner (this time is different all the time, though).
8:00 Chimes office. Typically work for two three hours, finishing up layout.
12:00 To bed (if I'm lucky).
There also is occasionally an interview for an article stuffed somewhere in there.
Tuesdays are a little freer (by freer, I mean more time to work at The Chimes). Wednesday are even worse. Thursdays are average, and Fridays are actually pretty light. Weekends I spend doing homework. Yeah.
So, that should sufficiently explain my lack of blogging. The only reason I'm able to do it today is because I have an abnormally free Friday. Thank God.
Keep me in your prayers. I'm a little bit nervous about getting a job in a year with the way the economy is -- not to mention the poor state of the newspaper industry.
7:30 I wake up, eat breakfast, take a shower, etc.
8:30 I arrive at The Chimes office to work for an hour
9:30 I go to chapel
10:30 Tennis class
11:30 Lunch
12:00 Back to The Chimes office. Typically work on page layout, deal with emails.
12:30 Photography class
1:30 Back to The Chimes office. More page layout.
3:00 Theology class
4:30 Back to The Chimes office...again.
6:30 Dinner (this time is different all the time, though).
8:00 Chimes office. Typically work for two three hours, finishing up layout.
12:00 To bed (if I'm lucky).
There also is occasionally an interview for an article stuffed somewhere in there.
Tuesdays are a little freer (by freer, I mean more time to work at The Chimes). Wednesday are even worse. Thursdays are average, and Fridays are actually pretty light. Weekends I spend doing homework. Yeah.
So, that should sufficiently explain my lack of blogging. The only reason I'm able to do it today is because I have an abnormally free Friday. Thank God.
Keep me in your prayers. I'm a little bit nervous about getting a job in a year with the way the economy is -- not to mention the poor state of the newspaper industry.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Back to biz
The new semester started today in much the same fashion as it proceeded last semester--with me buried in Chimes work.
However, I'm elated that we've made some changes at The Chimes, most notably being the addition of apprentices, which will assist editors like myself in their weekly production. I happen to have the best apprentice--one who is very enthusiastic about her job. In a way her attitude has actually inspired even me. When you've been doing something for a while it's easy to just trudge along; so her excitement has given some extra vitality.
We've changed things up a bit in the apartment. One of our roommates moved out because he is studying in Germany this semester. The guy who was sharing my room moved over to fill the departed guy's place, leaving me all to myself. As great as that is, we do NEED to find someone new. I certainly couldn't afford the extra rent if we didn't. It's difficult, though, to find someone mid-way through the school year.
I'm really liking the new computer. It has got some decent specs, and I've been able to play Everquest 2 again (though now that school is in session I doubt I'll log too many hours). I'm being way cautious with it--going through two computers in as many years has spurned that caution in me, understandably. I'm leaving it at home most the time, only taking it with me if I really need it. I figure how much I lugged around my last laptop had something to do with its demise.
Weather here isn't quite as hot as it was a couple weeks ago, but still is around the upper-60s and mid-70s. Very comfortable, I'd say.
Been having some car trouble recently. First it was a sporadic loss of battery charge, and then it was a flat tire from running over a nail. Luckily the tire didn't go flat when I was on the road, but rather in the parking lot while I was in Utah. It sucks when you have practical problems like this and can't afford to do much other than patching up. It's in things like that that make me eager to start making a salary.
Thanks for all your prayers and support. I've been reminded even more this past month how blessed by God I am for my loving family. Without you guys there is no way I could be doing what I'm doing right now. I hope, some day, in some way, I can somehow pay it back.
However, I'm elated that we've made some changes at The Chimes, most notably being the addition of apprentices, which will assist editors like myself in their weekly production. I happen to have the best apprentice--one who is very enthusiastic about her job. In a way her attitude has actually inspired even me. When you've been doing something for a while it's easy to just trudge along; so her excitement has given some extra vitality.
We've changed things up a bit in the apartment. One of our roommates moved out because he is studying in Germany this semester. The guy who was sharing my room moved over to fill the departed guy's place, leaving me all to myself. As great as that is, we do NEED to find someone new. I certainly couldn't afford the extra rent if we didn't. It's difficult, though, to find someone mid-way through the school year.
I'm really liking the new computer. It has got some decent specs, and I've been able to play Everquest 2 again (though now that school is in session I doubt I'll log too many hours). I'm being way cautious with it--going through two computers in as many years has spurned that caution in me, understandably. I'm leaving it at home most the time, only taking it with me if I really need it. I figure how much I lugged around my last laptop had something to do with its demise.
Weather here isn't quite as hot as it was a couple weeks ago, but still is around the upper-60s and mid-70s. Very comfortable, I'd say.
Been having some car trouble recently. First it was a sporadic loss of battery charge, and then it was a flat tire from running over a nail. Luckily the tire didn't go flat when I was on the road, but rather in the parking lot while I was in Utah. It sucks when you have practical problems like this and can't afford to do much other than patching up. It's in things like that that make me eager to start making a salary.
Thanks for all your prayers and support. I've been reminded even more this past month how blessed by God I am for my loving family. Without you guys there is no way I could be doing what I'm doing right now. I hope, some day, in some way, I can somehow pay it back.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Redecorating
As you can see, I changed my colors up a bit. I like it, except I'm concerned it might be a bit rough on the eyes (no, that's no an euphemism for "looks bad," I just mean the red might make it a bit hard to read).
Tell me what you think.
BTW, I got my new laptop yesterday--yay! Since I have a computer at home now it might mean I'll write more in the blog. Can't guarantee it...we'll see. :)
Tell me what you think.
BTW, I got my new laptop yesterday--yay! Since I have a computer at home now it might mean I'll write more in the blog. Can't guarantee it...we'll see. :)
Saturday, January 03, 2009
From L.A. to Oregon and Back Again
After a wonderful (and wet and cold) week and a half with my family up in Oregon, I am now back in SoCal. This time I had no trouble getting off the ground, and my airport experience was rather calm — that is, despite the baby on my airplane that cried half the flight.
Now, back at my apartment, I'm wondering what I'm going to do for the next three weeks until school starts. The two jobs I applied for on campus did not work out, so I'm left with catering; but I'm not sure how many catering events there will be since I haven't heard back from my boss yet. I've thought about looking into some temp agencies around here as my last resort. Whatever it is, though, I really could use some work. School (again) is going to be hard to pay for, and I don't have too much money to spare right now. Luckily I have a lot of Christmas money, which will allow me to survive comfortably for the next three weeks.
However, I do believe that these next three weeks will give me an opportunity — a luxury, even — of doing something I rarely feel like I have time to do when school is in session: hitting the Word of God hard (and not for a class assignment). Books I've been reading, as well as a meeting I had with my old youth pastor before I left, have given me a hunger for Scripture I haven't had in a while.
And I don't intend to just do devotional reading; I mean to do serious verse by verse, Strong's-Bible-concordance-in-lap type studying.
I got off to a good start today. I went to Panera bread in the morning/afternoon and finished a book about Billy Graham that my dad gave me for Christmas. After three cups of a coffee and a brief reading from Christless Christianity—a book I got a couple months ago but haven't had a ton of time to read—I biked back to my apartment and busted out my gear: my new big, ole' ESV study Bible (thanks Grandma and Grandpa Willhite), Expositors Bible Commentary, my NKJV Bible, my journal, and two Biblical Lexicons — oh yeah, and the Strongest Strong's Bible concordance.
After praying for insight, I proceeded to spend two and a half to three hours digesting, dissecting and reading aloud the first chapter of Romans.
Great stuff. Amazing what the Holy Spirit can do when you give a little effort. I've never read one of Paul's customary greetings with such scrutiny before. But man, it was worth it. And I'm genuinely looking forward to continuing tomorrow.
One thing I took out of today's study was that faith is not only what saves us, but also something a Christian should live by every day. "The righteous shall live by faith," Paul wrote. Faith isn't just the beginning of a Christian's life, but the very means by which God changes a person from "glory to glory" into the likeness of His son. Even though I don't know where money is always going to come from, I do have faith that if God puts me in a place beyond myself He most certainly will provide.
I think with a bit of discipline, the next three weeks could be more productive than my customary Chimes weeks.
Now, back at my apartment, I'm wondering what I'm going to do for the next three weeks until school starts. The two jobs I applied for on campus did not work out, so I'm left with catering; but I'm not sure how many catering events there will be since I haven't heard back from my boss yet. I've thought about looking into some temp agencies around here as my last resort. Whatever it is, though, I really could use some work. School (again) is going to be hard to pay for, and I don't have too much money to spare right now. Luckily I have a lot of Christmas money, which will allow me to survive comfortably for the next three weeks.
However, I do believe that these next three weeks will give me an opportunity — a luxury, even — of doing something I rarely feel like I have time to do when school is in session: hitting the Word of God hard (and not for a class assignment). Books I've been reading, as well as a meeting I had with my old youth pastor before I left, have given me a hunger for Scripture I haven't had in a while.
And I don't intend to just do devotional reading; I mean to do serious verse by verse, Strong's-Bible-concordance-in-lap type studying.
I got off to a good start today. I went to Panera bread in the morning/afternoon and finished a book about Billy Graham that my dad gave me for Christmas. After three cups of a coffee and a brief reading from Christless Christianity—a book I got a couple months ago but haven't had a ton of time to read—I biked back to my apartment and busted out my gear: my new big, ole' ESV study Bible (thanks Grandma and Grandpa Willhite), Expositors Bible Commentary, my NKJV Bible, my journal, and two Biblical Lexicons — oh yeah, and the Strongest Strong's Bible concordance.
After praying for insight, I proceeded to spend two and a half to three hours digesting, dissecting and reading aloud the first chapter of Romans.
Great stuff. Amazing what the Holy Spirit can do when you give a little effort. I've never read one of Paul's customary greetings with such scrutiny before. But man, it was worth it. And I'm genuinely looking forward to continuing tomorrow.
One thing I took out of today's study was that faith is not only what saves us, but also something a Christian should live by every day. "The righteous shall live by faith," Paul wrote. Faith isn't just the beginning of a Christian's life, but the very means by which God changes a person from "glory to glory" into the likeness of His son. Even though I don't know where money is always going to come from, I do have faith that if God puts me in a place beyond myself He most certainly will provide.
I think with a bit of discipline, the next three weeks could be more productive than my customary Chimes weeks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
