I think I've finally settled into things--just in time for me to leave, right? Got to love it.
But really, I've gotten past the major jitters of D.C. life, I've made my couple mistakes, I've shown the boss what I can do--I feel more and more like I can just be myself. Relieving to say the least.
I'm not a workaholic. I'm not obsessed with success. These are things that I sometimes emulate because of outside converted into internal pressure, but they aren't me.
Me. I'm a laid back guy. I don't get stressed out too easily, and I enjoy playing a good video game. I like the work I do, always seek excellence, but it does not take over my life.
Who I was at the beginning of the semester was a bugged out version of myself. And, honestly, I'm not sure how it could have been any other way. New town, new job, new friends, freezing weather. I was totally out of my element, and was expecting myself to astoud everyone with my journalistic prowesss. I like to think I'm good, but I'm not Superman!
It's been nice to be okay with having a slow couple weeks. These past two weeks for me have been relatively slow, but I'm not too worried. I've been working on some quality feature pieces that I'm quite proud of, and they all will be running within the next two weeks.
I hate comparing myself to my peers. I want to just be okay with my own progress and my own niche. I've felt like I have settled into that more, though I still am fighting it to some extent--which is good, I admit, as a journalist needs a competitve edge.
A story I worked on today was a clear display from God, I think, that this career won't be a total waste for my spiritual life. I got to interview an 88 year old woman who has been attending a Catholic church right next to the new staduim where the pope will be speaking in two weeks. Hearing from her was encouraging, even in a kind of formal interview setting. I didn't flat out tell the woman and her priest I was a Christian, but I think enough of my questions and responses indicated as much.
I'm discovering more and more those are the types of stories I like to tell. Stories about people. Hard news is helpful, I can write a good hard news story. But I am an even better writer of feature pieces, which really capture the essence of a human being. And they are much funner for me to write.
Keep me in your prayer. I got a big ole' term paper to write in the next two weeks, on top of my internship. I also am still clueless on where I am going to be for the summer. Let me know if you hear anything about jobs, too. I'm looking at an internship in Washington (state), but haven't heard back from them since they said a month ago that they were "keeping me in mind." I also am trying to see if Catering at Biola will hire me for the summer. If I was able to do that, I could also look into doing some freelance for the Orange County Register.
I don't knows....
--mjf
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Lessons for the week
Just a few things I've learned/realized since my depressing post last week:
-- Physical exertion is good for the mind. And a good stress reliever to boot!
-- Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from them, don't dwell on them.
-- People are more important than numbers. Tell their story.
-- The world is temporary; the spirit is eternal.
-- Truth is not necessarily in the middle of two sides; independent verification is key.
-- A good, strong meal is good every now and again; even if it is from a box or two.
-- Pray. Study. Meditate. Rinse. Repeat. If one thing doesn't change, it's Scripture.
-- Miles don't matter. Friends are only a phone call away.
-mjf
-- Physical exertion is good for the mind. And a good stress reliever to boot!
-- Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from them, don't dwell on them.
-- People are more important than numbers. Tell their story.
-- The world is temporary; the spirit is eternal.
-- Truth is not necessarily in the middle of two sides; independent verification is key.
-- A good, strong meal is good every now and again; even if it is from a box or two.
-- Pray. Study. Meditate. Rinse. Repeat. If one thing doesn't change, it's Scripture.
-- Miles don't matter. Friends are only a phone call away.
-mjf
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Just an update
I'm doing a lot better now. Thanks for everyone who has been praying for me and supporting me.
This Sunday mornings service helped me put a lot of things in perspective. Plus, my editor was in a much better mood at the end of the week--that helps.
Don't have many updates right now. Just wanted to put somthing up, so people who haven't read my last post yet would know I'm not still feeling the way I was when I wrote that.
This Sunday mornings service helped me put a lot of things in perspective. Plus, my editor was in a much better mood at the end of the week--that helps.
Don't have many updates right now. Just wanted to put somthing up, so people who haven't read my last post yet would know I'm not still feeling the way I was when I wrote that.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Hard week
So this has been one of the hardest weeks on me so far. To be quite honest I'm pretty discouraged right now.
Last Friday I had a small attribution error in my article, where I said some guy presented some stats, when in fact someone else at the same event had presented them. I've had to deal with this, frantically trying to find out what went wrong, contact the right people, write up a correction, apologize the guy who wrote in to complain about it and face a bit of chiding from my editor.
Today I just really felt like my editor was laying it on thick. Now, it could have been that I was just ultra sensitive, since I was still getting over the error, but it really felt like he was pretty hard on me today. He harassed me about a feature article I have been working on for weeks now, telling my my lede wasn't what he wanted. He harassed me about forgetting to sign my name at the end of my blog post. He sounded exasperated when I asked him questions. It just hasn't been a good day.
To top it all off, I nearly made a huge disaster today. I was working on an article about a bill that is being voted on tomorrow, so I called like five or six congressmen, but had to leave messages for all of them.
As soon as I had turned in the article, I got a call. I picked up the phone and the person introduced themselves quickly, so didn't quite get their name. But since it sounded a lot like the name of one of the congressmen I called, I assumed I was talking to him. He gave me a great quote and I added it into my post as an update.
But, at the request of my editor (who I am sure was being extra careful with me since I made an error last week), I fact checked my article just to be sure. As I was verifying all the names, something didn't sit well with me about the quote I had just got from the phone conversation. Needless to say, after a couple minutes of research I had enough doubt to tell one of the Web desk people to take down the quote I just gave them (this is about 10 minutes after the update went up online).
Making a phone call, my fear was confirmed. The guy I had talked to earlier was not the congressman I thought, but rather someone who I had called earlier about their opposition to the bill, but had to leave a message for. I had misquoted a congressman, and for 10 minutes the whole world could have seen it.
Ugh.
I suppose I am just feeling rather down on myself. I had been feeling so good about the work I was doing, but now I just feel like crap--thinking of all the reasons why I should just quit this journalism stuff.
I know my emotions right now are temporary. And I know by my next good article I'll be feeling much better. But still, I feel like I just want to go home right now, where I don't have to deal with the pressure of deadlines, 100 percent accuracy and impressing the boss.
....
This is probably what I asked for. You know, at the beginning of this semester I asked God to keep me humble. Wow, do I feel pretty humbled right now. I'm a long way from the undying praise and encouragement I get at Biola from my journalism professors.
The question now is, what do I do? This internship has definitely revealed to me more about myself. It definitely has shown me that what I thought I wanted from journalism is not what actually will fulfill me.
At Biola I am the news guy. I won news writer of the year last year, and have been responsible for many of the hard breaking pieces with The Chimes. I'm starting to realize now that, though I still am good at hard news, I much prefer writing about peoples' lives. Their hobbies, their passions, their faith. One of the funnest articles I wrote this semester was about two guys who do wingsuit skydiving. It was also the article that got edited the least, and received the most compliments. Maybe that's telling me something.
But I also have been questioning whether I even want to be in this field, with all the stress and responsibility that comes with it. I mainly think this when I am at home, as I tend to really get into my articles while I'm writing them (something I call the journalistic rush). I don't really think my doubts about journalism are that honest, as I know God has done so much to get me where I am--and I know I am good at reporting. But, it's a feeling I have, nonetheless. Probably a good thing to think about.
___
Well, this post has been long. I just needed to vent a little bit. I will admit that a lot of this has to do a bit with homesickness--for Biola and Oregon. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit lonely and wanting the program to end so I can come back. I never really feel like this at Biola because there always are so many awesome friends around me. Plus chapel services during the week that keep me connected with God.
Here in D.C., work has served as a very poor replacement for both those aspects. I increasingly find myself calling people at for Biola or home, just to talk to someone. And I'm oftern quite guilty for spending such little time in the Word.
Never before have I realized how important the church community is to me as I do now.
Last Friday I had a small attribution error in my article, where I said some guy presented some stats, when in fact someone else at the same event had presented them. I've had to deal with this, frantically trying to find out what went wrong, contact the right people, write up a correction, apologize the guy who wrote in to complain about it and face a bit of chiding from my editor.
Today I just really felt like my editor was laying it on thick. Now, it could have been that I was just ultra sensitive, since I was still getting over the error, but it really felt like he was pretty hard on me today. He harassed me about a feature article I have been working on for weeks now, telling my my lede wasn't what he wanted. He harassed me about forgetting to sign my name at the end of my blog post. He sounded exasperated when I asked him questions. It just hasn't been a good day.
To top it all off, I nearly made a huge disaster today. I was working on an article about a bill that is being voted on tomorrow, so I called like five or six congressmen, but had to leave messages for all of them.
As soon as I had turned in the article, I got a call. I picked up the phone and the person introduced themselves quickly, so didn't quite get their name. But since it sounded a lot like the name of one of the congressmen I called, I assumed I was talking to him. He gave me a great quote and I added it into my post as an update.
But, at the request of my editor (who I am sure was being extra careful with me since I made an error last week), I fact checked my article just to be sure. As I was verifying all the names, something didn't sit well with me about the quote I had just got from the phone conversation. Needless to say, after a couple minutes of research I had enough doubt to tell one of the Web desk people to take down the quote I just gave them (this is about 10 minutes after the update went up online).
Making a phone call, my fear was confirmed. The guy I had talked to earlier was not the congressman I thought, but rather someone who I had called earlier about their opposition to the bill, but had to leave a message for. I had misquoted a congressman, and for 10 minutes the whole world could have seen it.
Ugh.
I suppose I am just feeling rather down on myself. I had been feeling so good about the work I was doing, but now I just feel like crap--thinking of all the reasons why I should just quit this journalism stuff.
I know my emotions right now are temporary. And I know by my next good article I'll be feeling much better. But still, I feel like I just want to go home right now, where I don't have to deal with the pressure of deadlines, 100 percent accuracy and impressing the boss.
....
This is probably what I asked for. You know, at the beginning of this semester I asked God to keep me humble. Wow, do I feel pretty humbled right now. I'm a long way from the undying praise and encouragement I get at Biola from my journalism professors.
The question now is, what do I do? This internship has definitely revealed to me more about myself. It definitely has shown me that what I thought I wanted from journalism is not what actually will fulfill me.
At Biola I am the news guy. I won news writer of the year last year, and have been responsible for many of the hard breaking pieces with The Chimes. I'm starting to realize now that, though I still am good at hard news, I much prefer writing about peoples' lives. Their hobbies, their passions, their faith. One of the funnest articles I wrote this semester was about two guys who do wingsuit skydiving. It was also the article that got edited the least, and received the most compliments. Maybe that's telling me something.
But I also have been questioning whether I even want to be in this field, with all the stress and responsibility that comes with it. I mainly think this when I am at home, as I tend to really get into my articles while I'm writing them (something I call the journalistic rush). I don't really think my doubts about journalism are that honest, as I know God has done so much to get me where I am--and I know I am good at reporting. But, it's a feeling I have, nonetheless. Probably a good thing to think about.
___
Well, this post has been long. I just needed to vent a little bit. I will admit that a lot of this has to do a bit with homesickness--for Biola and Oregon. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit lonely and wanting the program to end so I can come back. I never really feel like this at Biola because there always are so many awesome friends around me. Plus chapel services during the week that keep me connected with God.
Here in D.C., work has served as a very poor replacement for both those aspects. I increasingly find myself calling people at for Biola or home, just to talk to someone. And I'm oftern quite guilty for spending such little time in the Word.
Never before have I realized how important the church community is to me as I do now.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
In case you're wondering
That picture up top was taken during one of the nicest days we've had here in D.C. in a while (hence the jovial elation). I actually was wearing shorts and playing frisbee at a park (Stanton Park, look it up).
Anyways, it's kind of an inside joke. You see, David Eldridge is my editor at the Times, and he is just a character. Kinda one of those guys that belongs on a TV show--fun to quote, fun to poke fun at. He's a very stereotypical editor. Has kind of a false crankiness about him; you know, acts cranky but really has a soft heart inside.
Just thought I'd explain.
Anyways, it's kind of an inside joke. You see, David Eldridge is my editor at the Times, and he is just a character. Kinda one of those guys that belongs on a TV show--fun to quote, fun to poke fun at. He's a very stereotypical editor. Has kind of a false crankiness about him; you know, acts cranky but really has a soft heart inside.
Just thought I'd explain.
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