Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Busy week
This weekend I caught up on some sleep.
Last week was crazy. I had a paper due every day Mon-Thu. On top of that, we've been having a lot of issue at The Chimes that have drained me physically and emotionally.
Good news is that I love Redeemer Church! The past few services have been so amazing. My church always amazes me with how intentional and open it is. I love how spontaneous it can be too. Though we have an intentional structure, the leaders allow short, unplanned diversions as the Spirit leads. There is so much authenticity in that.
It's crazy that I'm already halfway through with the semester. Unbelievable. I'll be honest, I'm much more scared of graduation than excited. When I entered college I never imagined how unstable things would get. Everyone always gave me the impression that a college degree was a ticket to success. And yet, most of the people I know who graduated last year are still looking for work (including some people who I consider much more ambitious than me). It's hard to authentically enjoy life when I have that huge burden on me to find a job -- which is made all the more heavy by the $40,000 in student loans I'll have to pay off.
I want to go to the beach; I want to take trips; I want to go on dates. Yet all these things feel so trivial when I consider my imminent need to find employment. Yes, I know God will take care of me...you don't need to remind me. But I'm still an emotional wreck because I don't know exactly how specifically God's sovereignty applies to my life. (How specifically has God planned my life? How much effort does he expect from me?)
My one comfort right now is that I have a lot of support from family. Obviously no one is going to allow me to end up on the street. Still, I came to college so that I could do something with my life and support myself, not so that I could move back home and mooch off my family for a few more years.
I don't know where I'm going.
Last week was crazy. I had a paper due every day Mon-Thu. On top of that, we've been having a lot of issue at The Chimes that have drained me physically and emotionally.
Good news is that I love Redeemer Church! The past few services have been so amazing. My church always amazes me with how intentional and open it is. I love how spontaneous it can be too. Though we have an intentional structure, the leaders allow short, unplanned diversions as the Spirit leads. There is so much authenticity in that.
It's crazy that I'm already halfway through with the semester. Unbelievable. I'll be honest, I'm much more scared of graduation than excited. When I entered college I never imagined how unstable things would get. Everyone always gave me the impression that a college degree was a ticket to success. And yet, most of the people I know who graduated last year are still looking for work (including some people who I consider much more ambitious than me). It's hard to authentically enjoy life when I have that huge burden on me to find a job -- which is made all the more heavy by the $40,000 in student loans I'll have to pay off.
I want to go to the beach; I want to take trips; I want to go on dates. Yet all these things feel so trivial when I consider my imminent need to find employment. Yes, I know God will take care of me...you don't need to remind me. But I'm still an emotional wreck because I don't know exactly how specifically God's sovereignty applies to my life. (How specifically has God planned my life? How much effort does he expect from me?)
My one comfort right now is that I have a lot of support from family. Obviously no one is going to allow me to end up on the street. Still, I came to college so that I could do something with my life and support myself, not so that I could move back home and mooch off my family for a few more years.
I don't know where I'm going.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sigh
It's been kind of an emotional week for me. Nothing in particular happened, it's just because I tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, every once it a while something small will "break the dam" so to speak and I'll get flooded. This has been one of those weeks.
The good thing is that God has surrounded me with some good people that are very eager to listen to me. I've had so many solid conversations that past few weeks.
I just think to much, you know. My professor put it well in a lecture he gave today about an unrelated topic: I'm "hypersensitive" to the world around me. So much goes through my brain. I'm constantly philosophizing and/or debating with myself. The good news, is that this is a sign, my professor said, of a creative person. So I guess that's cool :)
The good thing is that God has surrounded me with some good people that are very eager to listen to me. I've had so many solid conversations that past few weeks.
I just think to much, you know. My professor put it well in a lecture he gave today about an unrelated topic: I'm "hypersensitive" to the world around me. So much goes through my brain. I'm constantly philosophizing and/or debating with myself. The good news, is that this is a sign, my professor said, of a creative person. So I guess that's cool :)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Webbyized
So the reason I've neglected my sacred duty of updating this blog has everything to do with my new job. I am the Web editor this year for my campus paper (ooohh!), which means 20+ hours of my week is spent contributing to the Internet beast on our own little corner of http://chimes.biola.edu. In other words, my Internet presence has been directed elsewhere.
I do lament that I have left you uninformed since I've started school this semester. Do know, however -- and be happy -- that I am really enjoying my new job. I'll be honest, I've been skeptical of all this Internet news business. Call me old-fashioned, but I really like newspapers. So the Internet, which has basically bankrupted the newspaper industry, for me has been a dubious yet unavoidable monster. If I am truthful with myself, I'd have to say that I applied for my current position partly because of obligation and disgruntled surrender.
I report today, however, that my thinking has changed.
I really enjoy my job. In fact -- and it feels like heresy to say -- I actually enjoy this job more than my job last year as news editor for the print edition (gasp!). The editor-in-chief has given me a lot of freedom, so I almost feel like I'm in charge of my own publication. And this whole news video thing has been quite a kick! I got a skilled dude working as the Web site's multimedia editor, and he has been putting together some entertaining stuff with the videographer I just hired. I also started up a whole new blog effort for the site, where I'm asking people from groups around campus to contribute.
I'll give you a little anecdote that demonstrates the cool factor of my job:
Today I was sitting down in the office at a computer and with my laptop out. Both computers were running Internet browsers, each with multiple tabs running within them. As I worked I went back and forth, back and forth. I would add content to the Web site on one computer, then view it on the Web site on the other. One Web browser is running a Google Doc, the other has Facebook and Twitter open so that I can link the new content. If one site was busy loading a page, I'd switch over to the other. Supa Web savvy, that's right!
So much multitasking! So much fun!
____
I'm really liking my classes. Totally loving my philosophy class and media ethics class. I also have a class on the Gospel of John; great prof.
Apartment life also rocks. I finally got a bunch of food. Also have done a bit of decorating. I've kind of taken on the role as Resident Assistant of my apartment, which I don't really mind, it's just funny -- I'm buying bulletin boards, posting notes, reminding people to do the dishes, hehe.
That's about it. Chill.
I do lament that I have left you uninformed since I've started school this semester. Do know, however -- and be happy -- that I am really enjoying my new job. I'll be honest, I've been skeptical of all this Internet news business. Call me old-fashioned, but I really like newspapers. So the Internet, which has basically bankrupted the newspaper industry, for me has been a dubious yet unavoidable monster. If I am truthful with myself, I'd have to say that I applied for my current position partly because of obligation and disgruntled surrender.
I report today, however, that my thinking has changed.
I really enjoy my job. In fact -- and it feels like heresy to say -- I actually enjoy this job more than my job last year as news editor for the print edition (gasp!). The editor-in-chief has given me a lot of freedom, so I almost feel like I'm in charge of my own publication. And this whole news video thing has been quite a kick! I got a skilled dude working as the Web site's multimedia editor, and he has been putting together some entertaining stuff with the videographer I just hired. I also started up a whole new blog effort for the site, where I'm asking people from groups around campus to contribute.
I'll give you a little anecdote that demonstrates the cool factor of my job:
Today I was sitting down in the office at a computer and with my laptop out. Both computers were running Internet browsers, each with multiple tabs running within them. As I worked I went back and forth, back and forth. I would add content to the Web site on one computer, then view it on the Web site on the other. One Web browser is running a Google Doc, the other has Facebook and Twitter open so that I can link the new content. If one site was busy loading a page, I'd switch over to the other. Supa Web savvy, that's right!
So much multitasking! So much fun!
____
I'm really liking my classes. Totally loving my philosophy class and media ethics class. I also have a class on the Gospel of John; great prof.
Apartment life also rocks. I finally got a bunch of food. Also have done a bit of decorating. I've kind of taken on the role as Resident Assistant of my apartment, which I don't really mind, it's just funny -- I'm buying bulletin boards, posting notes, reminding people to do the dishes, hehe.
That's about it. Chill.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Hike
I wrote this about my hike to Maxwell Lake near the Lostine River in eastern Oregon, where our family often camps. Enjoy.
_________________
East over Oregon's rugged Cascade Mountains, down into a dry land as much brown as green, through the windy gorge of the great Columbia, and finally into the hills of the Wallowas. Here, at a wooden footbridge over a shallow, winding and frigged river they call the Lostine we begin our hike.
Four miles lay before us. Not a long hike; about three and half hours if we keep good pace. But every mile will be well fought for. The trail is steep and wild; only half-tamed by works of man. A short, easy hike to a rocky crossing of the river sets our pace. Across it, a field of tall grass and bright flowers awaits. We cautiously cross the river, with more than one of us soaking our feet as we slip on the slick rocks.
Onto the real trail we then begin. It is steeper now; thinner. The forest encloses us, and occasional sharp, rocky drops on our right warn us of misstepping. We come to the first switchback, a place where the trail turns around and sharply inclines, taking us above ground previously covered. There will be eight of these before the top. A short rest, a sip of water, and then we continue.
Legs weary; breathing becomes a fight. Jagged, salt and pepper speckled granite pebbles crush methodically underneath our boot-laden feet, orchestrating the unconscious rhythm to which we hike. Larger, less weathered stones often jut from the trail, only aggravating our already burning thighs. A hike more like a rock climb, we often think.
But then, out of the shadows of hallways of pine suddenly blossoms a field of luscious green. The violets, reds and deep blues of various flowers stand scattered about the refreshing meadow, laid out in a pattern known only to their maker. Soft dirt replaces hard stone beneath our feet. Cackling chirps of untamed birds sound out from above. We're still far from through, but softer scenery gives us some reprieve.
We reach the final switchback an hour later. But victory seems small against the path ahead. Now, the path inclines sharper than it ever has before. The trail becomes like a trench at some points; a rocky creek at others. We are led through lively, colorful fields at the foot of powerful rocky mountains. Birds sing and fly above us. But we hardly notice. The trail fools us with crests that seem to mark the end, but once reached only reveal even more obstacles ahead.
Another ridge is reached. But then a bend. And suddenly, unexpectedly, a valley lays before us. A splash of blue lays on its far side. A lake; our destination. Steep cliffs of white stone rise threateningly around the isolated pool, as if guarding its serenity. A sudden decline in the trail raises our spirits and reinvigorates our legs. A thin dirt trail leads us down through fields of green and along, over and beside thin, rapid streams.
The blue looks more green now as the lake draws near. A rocky outcrop must be traversed before we can reach the lake's shore. Coming over the rocks, we arrive at a trail leading around the lake. Thin, reddish-brown forms dart in the water below—brook trout as far as we can tell.
A patch of grass flanked by a vast field of tall, stacked stone on one side and a crop of pines on the other, is where we finally sit down to rest. Plump, honey-striped bees hop from blossom to blossom around our feet. Large horse flies buzz annoyingly around our heads; mosquitoes stab lustily into our flesh. The tangy aroma of bug spray soon taints the sweet mountain air. A cool breeze ripples the opal lake, gently shifts through the trees, and tingles our skin as it wraps around our weary bodies. A subtle “plop” disturbs the calm, yet seems not out of place. We glance at the sound's origin, seeing only a pulsating ring of water. Another near it, this time preceded by a flash of silver, confirms our hopes: the fish are hungry.
As we fish, eat and rest bare-footed upon large stones, gray clouds emerge over the steep rocks around us. Light rain dampens the land, but we do not seek cover. The air is cool, but that's just fine. The fish are biting, and our cares couldn't be farther.
_________________
East over Oregon's rugged Cascade Mountains, down into a dry land as much brown as green, through the windy gorge of the great Columbia, and finally into the hills of the Wallowas. Here, at a wooden footbridge over a shallow, winding and frigged river they call the Lostine we begin our hike.
Four miles lay before us. Not a long hike; about three and half hours if we keep good pace. But every mile will be well fought for. The trail is steep and wild; only half-tamed by works of man. A short, easy hike to a rocky crossing of the river sets our pace. Across it, a field of tall grass and bright flowers awaits. We cautiously cross the river, with more than one of us soaking our feet as we slip on the slick rocks.
Onto the real trail we then begin. It is steeper now; thinner. The forest encloses us, and occasional sharp, rocky drops on our right warn us of misstepping. We come to the first switchback, a place where the trail turns around and sharply inclines, taking us above ground previously covered. There will be eight of these before the top. A short rest, a sip of water, and then we continue.
Legs weary; breathing becomes a fight. Jagged, salt and pepper speckled granite pebbles crush methodically underneath our boot-laden feet, orchestrating the unconscious rhythm to which we hike. Larger, less weathered stones often jut from the trail, only aggravating our already burning thighs. A hike more like a rock climb, we often think.
But then, out of the shadows of hallways of pine suddenly blossoms a field of luscious green. The violets, reds and deep blues of various flowers stand scattered about the refreshing meadow, laid out in a pattern known only to their maker. Soft dirt replaces hard stone beneath our feet. Cackling chirps of untamed birds sound out from above. We're still far from through, but softer scenery gives us some reprieve.
We reach the final switchback an hour later. But victory seems small against the path ahead. Now, the path inclines sharper than it ever has before. The trail becomes like a trench at some points; a rocky creek at others. We are led through lively, colorful fields at the foot of powerful rocky mountains. Birds sing and fly above us. But we hardly notice. The trail fools us with crests that seem to mark the end, but once reached only reveal even more obstacles ahead.
Another ridge is reached. But then a bend. And suddenly, unexpectedly, a valley lays before us. A splash of blue lays on its far side. A lake; our destination. Steep cliffs of white stone rise threateningly around the isolated pool, as if guarding its serenity. A sudden decline in the trail raises our spirits and reinvigorates our legs. A thin dirt trail leads us down through fields of green and along, over and beside thin, rapid streams.
The blue looks more green now as the lake draws near. A rocky outcrop must be traversed before we can reach the lake's shore. Coming over the rocks, we arrive at a trail leading around the lake. Thin, reddish-brown forms dart in the water below—brook trout as far as we can tell.
A patch of grass flanked by a vast field of tall, stacked stone on one side and a crop of pines on the other, is where we finally sit down to rest. Plump, honey-striped bees hop from blossom to blossom around our feet. Large horse flies buzz annoyingly around our heads; mosquitoes stab lustily into our flesh. The tangy aroma of bug spray soon taints the sweet mountain air. A cool breeze ripples the opal lake, gently shifts through the trees, and tingles our skin as it wraps around our weary bodies. A subtle “plop” disturbs the calm, yet seems not out of place. We glance at the sound's origin, seeing only a pulsating ring of water. Another near it, this time preceded by a flash of silver, confirms our hopes: the fish are hungry.
As we fish, eat and rest bare-footed upon large stones, gray clouds emerge over the steep rocks around us. Light rain dampens the land, but we do not seek cover. The air is cool, but that's just fine. The fish are biting, and our cares couldn't be farther.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Praise Jesus for Financial Aid
Today I completed my last phase of registration for classes next semester. Wonderful news: I OWE NOTHING OUT OF POCKET THIS SEMESTER. Woot! Thanks to a $2,000 scholarship I recently won, my entire tuition and meal plan expenses are covered by financial aid -- with $500 extra that I can use for next semester (or use for books or something).
I've struggled with doubt as of late; doubts about my future, God, whatever. This good news doesn't necessarily cure the doubt, but it definitely improves my perspective in life and reminds me to rejoice and be thankful for my prvileged existence. I could focus on all the student loans I'm going to have to deal with; I could focus on my uncertainty about the future; I could even focus on deep theological struggles I'm having about God. But here, now, I can find joy for being well fed, clothed -- and having a $0 balance due on my Biola Bill.
___
News about me:
I'm going camping with my family this weekend, and then will head back to Biola on August 14th or 15th. I get to move into my new apartment!!!!! Yay!!!
I've struggled with doubt as of late; doubts about my future, God, whatever. This good news doesn't necessarily cure the doubt, but it definitely improves my perspective in life and reminds me to rejoice and be thankful for my prvileged existence. I could focus on all the student loans I'm going to have to deal with; I could focus on my uncertainty about the future; I could even focus on deep theological struggles I'm having about God. But here, now, I can find joy for being well fed, clothed -- and having a $0 balance due on my Biola Bill.
___
News about me:
I'm going camping with my family this weekend, and then will head back to Biola on August 14th or 15th. I get to move into my new apartment!!!!! Yay!!!
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